Victor Wembanyama says one thing he likes about living in America is that people don’t judge you for being ambitious. The downside, he says, is that relationships between people often feel superficial.
I get the impression this dude is pretty honest all the time, and clearly more thoughtful than most in the league. I respect it.
the sub also hates him for the same reason thinking he’s smug or something
That’s part of why some people think French are rude and arrogant
The French as a whole get a bad rap. It’s really just Parisians that are assholes. People from outside of Paris are usually quite nice and not too dissimilar from a lot of Americans
Okay, but Parisians exist
First time I went to Paris, I was expecting the locals to be rude based on everything you hear and they couldn’t have been nicer. Have been back a couple times since and never really had a rude encounter like people seem to say happens all the time
Same thing as thinking Americans may be ok but NYers are assholes
Because this subs average iq is that of LaMelo Balls
lol you said Balls
Can’t be that high can it?
they said the same thing about Kareem, unfortunately the guys on this sub can’t see how they talk about the players is almost a 1:1 with how they talked about outspoken athletes in the 60s/70s, with some gen z slang sprinkled in.
I was about to say he really gives me Kareem vibes in this clip. Quiet confidence and has a strong sense of principles/morals, with the awareness that he’s in an occupation that affords a lifestyle where those can quickly erode in someone with less resolve.
He speaks in full sentences.
I can’t pay attention for that long
I think this sub hates him because he acts like a shooting guard with the body of a center
Fuck Durant too honestly
The greatest pure scorer ever?
This sub hates everybody. 90% of posts/comments are negative
“You ain’t living if you ain’t hating.” - some guy from Philly
He’s just French.
Being thoughtful and honest doesn’t mean you can’t be smug as well. And that’s fine, not everyone has to like him. I’m glad I don’t like a rival teams player.
I hate him because he intentional threw an elbow at Naz Reid’s head
I thought the sub turned on him because of the violence and trash talk he didn’t back up (like the I’m in your head thing)
Lmao the violence
Yeah the shot on naz reid was wild. Also just seems like unnecessary aggression towards chet for some reason.
I find that his off the court actions and words project an image of him that his on the court actions and words mostly don’t match. I don’t like seeing him act like an unbothered sage off the court, while he acts like a bully on the court
I mean he literally says he likes America because people have ambition. He’s also one of the only nba starts that’s publicly said they don’t support sports gambling. I don’t get the sense he’s unbothered, he’s just mindful of the world he lives in.
If someone is being too much of a bully on the court to the point that they’re dirty, I can understand disliking them for it (and I would too), I personally don’t think Wemby goes that far but I get why some may disagree.
That being said, I don’t see why it should matter whether or not their on-court persona matches their off-court one. I’d much rather someone who’s a bully on the court leave it on the court and be a nice guy off of it, than just be a bully everywhere lol. Maybe the latter is more ‘consistent’ or ‘authentic’ or whatever to some, but to me, part of the appeal of sports is that it gives people an outlet to exhibit aggression and competitiveness that might be toxic in the real world, in an environment where everyone’s on the same page. So I have no expectations of consistency with their off-court personality.
One playoff run where he was being hacked by the other teams defense the whole run. As soon as he returned the energy he was receiving everyone on this sub turned to hate on him, as if they weren’t calling for him to play less soft beforehand.
This is completely revisionist, he elbowed a dude in the throat and could have hurt him much more seriously. Nothing even close to that has ever happened to him.
This sub’s hate boners rise and fall on a game to game basis
People love to act blind on certain stuff in this sub. The hive mind is real.
Yea it’s mostly this for me, he’s obviously a great player and I don’t hate him but he seemed to let his emotions get to him especially during the playoffs last season
“Acts like a bully” just talking out of your ass bro😭
Committed a dangerous flagrant 2 and was talking mad shit but only when up, idk man it seems like it fits
They saw him throw that one elbow and in their mind he’s now forever a bully
Well put. I agree with this. He pretends he is one way but isn’t in actuality. Talk the talk all you want. But if you aren’t walking it… well you might just be French I guess.
He played pretty dirty in the playoffs
Maybe that’s the outcome of ambition and thoughtfulness. To play just a bit dirty
CP3 was a thinking player. And ambitious. And dirty, looking for every edge he could get. Guys like Wilt and Shaq are so much bigger and stronger that they could seriously injure someone if they set out to do the stuff cp3 did Wemby is far taller than CP3. But he is not burly strong, he’s still more of a spindly guy
It’s because he’s Fr*nch
That’s the French bias we have
Being honest often comes off as smug because sometimes not saying anything, says a lot
I dislike him for trying to injure brunson but I do appreciate his honesty
Anti-intellect runs rampant in this country
The thing is, he’s obviously quite articulate and thoughtful but he tries to make every situation into a lesson or big moment.
Nothing wrong with how you motivate yourself, but not everything in life is a big moment, not everything in life is a lesson. That’s not how life works, a lot of the time it’s just filled with inconsequential mundane moments (that are where the most progress actually happens don’t get me wrong).
It becomes a bit tiresome when someone tries to go on about everything trying to make it bigger than it is though.
That’s the French for you ( my family is French but I was raised in America )
This perspective is itself hubris masquerading as humility. Where do you get off telling other people that they take their life too seriously? Live your life as lightly as you’d like but for some of us everything in life really is a lesson. Even your comment about mundane moments is a serious bit of wisdom, in my opinion.
Hate is a strong word, but I don’t like him because he behaved like a jackass in the finals.
Well people think English is his first language for some dumb reason lol
I’ve noticed that the people who get talked about as being hated by this sub are often people who this sub loves
If X player is loved by a community and you comment that they’re hated, then people who love them will probably upvote that comment
This is an example of it IMO. Wemby is very clearly beloved! He’s a genuinely extremely well liked player. Every post about a Wemby quote gets a ton of love for how articulate and well-spoken he is. So many comparisons to the rest of the league (‘hes so much more thoughtful than the rest of the league’, ‘he’s so much more articulate than those other dudes’, etc). People LOVED his China monk thing too, you can look up posts on that.
So where does this ‘wemby is hated’ narrative come from?
Maybe because he got some backlash in the postseason from his run of dirty plays? But that’s just normal for any player!
i hate all french people
Most of the world is more thoughtful than your average NBA player.
Right, which is why it’s cool that he is that way
It lands him in trouble now and again. He’s smart and well read, but undeniably a bit arrogant like almost anyone in his position.
I trust he’ll mature into an incredible young man in due time
Wemby isn’t arrogant at all. US culture often mistaken certain forms of authenticity and non-conformity as arrogance, while giving a pass on extremely self-promoting beahviours as being real and ambitious. It’s really odd.
It’s not being “mistaken”, it’s just a different cultural ideal. In the states, self-promotion ultimately isn’t viewed to harm others, while being an asshole is. There is intense tall-poppy syndrome in France, and for better or worse ambition is viewed as a societal negative, while “putting others in their place” is far more accepted due to the former. Just as you believe US culture is “mistaken”, I vehemently disagree with the French approach and loathed plenty of the dickheads I worked with over there.
He’s not arrogant at all.
When’s he been in trouble? Not arguing I just genuinely don’t know
I have no problem with his spirit or demeanor, but on the court he’s on the medium-high side of dirty. At least in the finals. Had a pretty big heel turn. Still think he’s an okay guy.
Saying the truth, makes people who perpetuate lies angry.
Yeah he will change for sure.
when did it land him in trouble?
Contrast with elbowing Naz Reid in the throat.
Most of this country**
Yeah he’s my favorite player for that reason. Very refreshing
I would say also that both of his points align with observation..from perspectives from other countries
The USA proverbially is a place where the guy working at the gas station can see himself as a temporarily embarrassed millionaire…
E: i don’t know how many people actually became millionaires after working at a gas station, but it’s the mindset more so that folks reference. Also, far less hopeful in the last decade+
Why does that matter though? What is the relevance of mentioning his intellect in relation to the league? You just had to sneak in someone you could shit on.
No. Just saying he seems like a thoughtful dude that’s all.
That last part is a real thing. I’ve known a couple of french who went to live in the US or Canada for a couple of years and some of them came back depressed because of it.
In France we culturally have this mentality where you shouldn’t bother strangers which means we’ll usually be a lot less social than others with people we don’t know. On the other hand we’ll feel really close to people when we really get to know them. North Americans have the complete opposite mentality on that front. They’ll be very friendly and social to strangers so for french people when you suddenly have a person who’s super friendly and easy to talk to, you’ll think of them as friends but when you realize it’s not necessarily mutual, it might hurt you.
I had that exact experience when living in the US.
The first part is real too. America celebrates success (not that you would know it from Reddit) whereas a lot of European countries have tall poppy syndrome
Going through a countless wars, dictatorships and crises will do that. Distrust in rich. That being said Us started as a empty continent where everything was up for grab and the man with the biggest gun decided everything. Basically a billionaire wet dream while the rest of the world was already settled and populated. This is where the whole exceptionalism thing, violent capitalism and the idea of infinity growth came. But US today is different now. There is no more space to grab and mentality will change.
The continent was not empty. Its inhabitants, Native Americans, were exterminated in the worst mass genocides in human history. There were ~5-15 million Native Americans in North America in the 16th century to 380,000 by the 19th century. Over 90%+ of the population.
“empty continent” Native Americans in shambles. Also, the Americas spoke Spanish as a European language way, way before they spoke English (look up who saw the Grand Canyon first)…. and you do know some of the states were literally bought right?
How do people still think in the year 2026 that how wealthy someone or some country is depends on how much land and resources?
We have dirty poor countries in resource rich Africa and wealthy countries like Korea and Singapore in small resource poor strips of land
Americans move a lot all the time while Europeans stay connected to community. It is necessity to connect in US. It is true it takes time to gain friends here in Europe unlike US. But it is not because ppl are cold.
Is this a US specific thing, or a living-in-another-culture thing?
Moving to a different city within the same country (where you know no one) is often hard even for natives.It’s a whole different level when it’s a different culture/language. This difficulty is why expat bubbles exist.
I think it’s kind of naive to think that it wouldn’t fuck w/ your head– or that there’s something specific about the US.
I moved from Argentina to Germany and then to the US. In Germany it was hard for me to integrate but once I did I made pretty close friends. In the US it was very easy but I haven’t made any deep connections.
What do you define as deep? I have found my students from South America share very personal things with me that my American born students rarely do. Is that what you mean?
It’s absolutely a living in another culture thing, but it’s cute that the French think they have this magical special culture where they’re the only people who have super deep conversations.
Yeah i met a friend from france that said exactly what the top comment said. They really dont understand super small friendly gestures, “whats up”, “have a good one”, good morning”.
But that doesnt mean we are devoid of deeper conversations and relationships. We are just kind to everyone.
The fake friendliness i agree is obnoxious.
These kinds of threads are filled with people extrapolating personal anecdote and then turning it into incredibly broad generalizations about entire, diverse cultures and societies.
I mean, I get it. First impressions and whatnot but I think it’s best to frame things as “this was my experience” versus “this is what I think Americans or French or Chinese people are like based on my individual limited experience with them.”
I think they’re saying it’s the opposite… That America is the odd one out being so superficial.
Oh come on. You hear people from all kinds of other cultures say this same thing about the US/Americans
That wasn’t even implied in the comment above?
Just because most people are superficial doesn’t mean you can’t have deeper relationships.
The French thinking they’re special is nothing new. They are by far the most pretentious people in all of Europe.
Says the guy that never met one
Basing what the French think off of one comment on Reddit, cute indeed
Americans make a lot of small talk, if you’re not from here you may think they’re actually friendly or interested in getting to know you.
I think a globalized economy is the root cause of the issue. People get priced out of the areas they live in, or they have to move for work, or they move for college and settle down near their significant other’s family, or they move back to their home country after some time, etc. As an adult I’ve stopped trying to make friends with people who weren’t born and raised in the Bay Area because everyone I’ve met who was just here for work ends up moving.
Maybe it’s because I’m from NY, but we really aren’t that social.
Yes, famously people from NY are not friendly to strangers. That’s kind of the entire stereotype of New Yorkers is that their inhospitable and frigid.
We’re really not inhospitable. If you talk to us, ask a question, we’ll talk back. We just don’t talk to strangers for no reason or hold up line traffic. There’s too many of us to chit chat because it actively affects tons of other people in most situations.
yeah i think this is just the default setting for any city or metro area that has over, say, 3 million people in it. There’s just too many humans that you interact with every day to be able to be friendly and open to every single one of them. It’s the same in large city on the planet regardless of culture or country.
New Yorkers, definitely not.
Midwesterners and Southerners? Epitome of performatively social.
As a southern id say it depends some of it performative but some of it is just the culture down here.
As a midwesterner thats how I feel about west coast people. Maybe it’s a city thing? Does not feel performative to me..
I don’t know I think we are all pointing fingers everywhere
I grew up on the East Coast, in Wilmington, DE and I moved out to Southern California at a young age of 22, and over 20 years being here…..when I visit back east, I feel a sense of community, more tight-knit, people have each other’s back, but here in San Diego……it’s living in silos with people. I’m in my mid 40’s to provide you all context.
Lived in the south my whole life. Most people are just friendly. The whole “the south is just surface level friendly!” Is northern cope.
Haven’t met the real racist yet then down south. Performative my ass
New York is founded by the dutch. Makes sense tbh
So french ppl are like new yorkers
Gotta be sarcastic as fuck here, right???
Knicks in 5 yerrr
Damn, one of my best friends in my last city was from France. Actually he just moved to US while I was his friend. We still remain friends to this day, probably cuz I’m that cool shit (jk lol) but seriously, I remember him telling me about how Americans seemed “fake” and how it was hard for him to make friends with anyonebesides me and my crew. Eventually, most of my crew moved out of but the city so I was his last remaining close friend. Personally, I just thought “same bro” without understanding the entrenched cultural differences.
I had a friend from france say the same thing.
Something simple like “hi how are you?” She took offense to it because usually we say it and move on. But we dont actually need to have a whole conversation about how someone is doing, its just a greeting. I had to explain that its just a friendly gesture.
She got excited once for responding “im good how are you” and kept walking lolI can see how they think its fake because they arent really getting to know you but they need to change the perspective to a person that is being friendly in the moment.
Oh wow. That is really well said. This is exactly how I feel but I wasn’t able to explain it as well as you did. I am not French but as an immigrant I have felt this so many times.
The northeast of the US is more like France in that regard. We leave people alone out of respect and don’t make a lot of small talk.
I think you underestimate how friendly the US is as a whole.
In many European countries, it’s considered taboo to smile toward anyone who isn’t family or a very close friend. Asking how someone is doing can be considered invasive.
That’s just Seattle you’re describing.
They’re tired of living crammed in together, generally. We have more physical space between us in the states, especially in the west, so we experience the converse of that socially.
Ah that makes sense, so for example someone from Munich is much friendlier than someone in San Francisco since the former is less population dense
North-north east** (not the case in tri state area at least…)
maybe I am french
One thing that really surprised me in France is the distance people keep with their teachers, bosses, etc. The hierarchy is very strong. I’m not saying it’s good or bad, just different, and I wasn’t raised that way so it was off-putting.
Sounds like lol iving in Seattle
I hate that about the US/Canada, personal connections and relationships often are undervalued or get tossed aside at the slightest inconvenience.
It’s absolutely a real thing and it makes me less social because I feel they don’t care. I’ve never been a social butterfly but I talk a lot with the friends I do have. But here in the US I can’t get myself to do it. People talk to me a lot but I feel it doesn’t even matter
100000%. It’s something I’ve always found rotten about American culture, and it’s a festering, stinking type of rot.
Being Franco-American I am not at all surprised him saying either thing.
I commonly hear the opinion from Europeans that social interactions feel more superficial here in the states- but what exactly do people mean by that? Like, how much time do people really fucking have?
I’m somebody who is cordial, sincere, and friendly with pretty much everyone, but yeah, I don’t exactly make it a point to know what’s up with their mom, dad, grandparents, children, spouse, and everything they got going on in their lives. The kind of people who I might make friends with for one one night while out drinking with friends, or cashiers who laughed at my joke.
Above that is another tier of friend/acquaintance. Ones I might not spill my guts out to, but who I think have a decent estimation of who I am, and who I wouldn’t hesitate to go to their house and lift/move something heavy if they told me they said they needed help. Such as nice coworkers who make me smile, or the 70 something year old guy who I see every single day walking his dogs who likes to talk about jazz and the problems we are trouble shooting concerning various pieces of power equipment we own.
And then there are basically close friends, family, spouse, work friends who I really fuck with. And that’s pretty much all the social nice-juice I have to throw at people.
It’s basically the experience of anyone who tries to enter into a foreign society as an adult. Heck even moving to another location within the same country, people always mention how it’s difficult to make new “real” friends. An American moving to France is going to have the same trouble with forming deep relationships with the locals.
Not european but i think sincerity is the important thing here. Sometimes people are polite and friendly but they actually don’t give af about what you are saying
It’s a bit hard to understand without experiencing daily life in both countries (and not just visit for a week as a tourist). But basically what wemby says about relationship having less depth in the US is 100% true, at least compared to france, mediterranean europe, and the balkans. It’s a bit less the case for germanic countries and the brits though.
Someone you meet for the first time in the US will be a lot more friendly in the US than in France, which isn’t a bad thing by itself. The problem is that what a french guy may see as friendship due to the closeness of that person may in reality just be the ‘social standards’ of americans. On the other hand, when you do make friends, the depth of that relationship isn’t as deep as you’d think.
The best example I can think of is something I personally experienced in the US. I had a good friend who I thought I was close with. One day he asked for my opinion on a very personal subject. Since I considered him my friend and only wished the best for him, I obliged and told him the truth as I saw it. From then on he started distancing himself, and it’s only later that I learned that he didn’t appreciate what I said. Not because it was true, but because I said it as it is. He thought I was being rude to him, almost insulting, or condescending, even though I genuinely told him things as I saw them to help him and nothing more.
To me, being honest (even if it hurts) was the best thing I could’ve done for him. To him, me saying the truth as it is was seen as… dissing him I guess ?
It feels like even when you get close to someone in the US, the layer of superficiality doesn’t vanish yet, unless it’s your wife of 20 years or a childhood friend you’ve known since you were a kid.
That’s what wemby means by relationship not having as much depth. The positive is that the first step to make friends in the US is a lot easier than in france, and it’s way easier to grow your social and professional circle here. The negative is that who you can call a real friend is ambiguous for us, and often not what you’d think. In france you may connect with less people, but your relationship will be a lot stronger with each from the get go, and will continue to get stronger as time passes.
The entry barrier is harder to cross, but once you do there’s no more superficial because that would offend your friend. So in a way, it’s literally the opposite of how relationships work here, that’s why so many people struggle to adapt at first, whether it’s american going long term to france or the opposite.
Ok yeah I get that. I will say that, when it comes to our closest friends, my experiences closely relate to how you describe it in your second-to-last paragraph. However, if I understand correctly, the other things mentioned are absolutely true.
There is a lot of pretense and unspoken rules cooked into American social interactions. Your example is a good one. Many people are painfully aware, sometimes fixated, on what they perceive to be their own flaws. One way in which the social fabric is kind of upheld is by collectively either staying out of other people’s business (to avoid learning about other people’s intimate shortcomings all together), or pretending like you don’t see what they see in themselves. Or, ya know, just accepting that most people suffer from this or that such character flaw and don’t feel the need to point it out or judge them for it. Alternatively, you might also gossip tirelessly about other people’s drama behind their backs, and pretend as if you don’t to their face, sad but not uncommon.
Revealing that you see the thing that they are most insecure about dashes the perception that even if you feel one way about yourself, you’ve kept it hidden from others. If you’re a drunk or a fuck-up, you will be drinking and/or fucking up for a very long time before anyone points it out to you. Even when it’s essentially a nonthreatening, objective statement of fact which is obvious to almost anyone e.g. referencing an obese person’s size or weight.For the most part, even when expressly asked for honesty, people will go to absurd length to dance around the subject and soften their feedback in some way.
I also wonder how American is the tendency to frame conversations and certain interactions around like, non-literal gestures, empty talk, and pleasantries? For example: for a little while in high school, I had a crazy crush on this German foreign exchange student. I knew that between our 4th and 5th classes, she’d walk by my locker on her way to her next one. So I’d frequently keep myself looking busy there until she’d pass by, and I’d say, “hey, Daniella! What’s up?” She would give me this very confused look as if to say “…I’m going to class(?) what else could I possibly be doing right now? Lmao like, why would you even ask me that right now if you don’t even mean it? You silly, unusual little American, I actually find that kind of cute”.
I know they have “Wie geht’s?” in German, but I think it’s more of a genuine question. In the states, it might purely be a greeting.
I was born in Africa but I’ve lived in Europe, America and Australia. People in the latter two places were more outwardly friendly but it was harder to get relationships to ‘stick’, if that makes sense. You might meet someone, have a great night hanging out, exchange details and never see them again.
Europeans may be taciturn to begin with but if they act like they want to hang out with you, they generally want to hang out with you. Maybe Americans are just friendlier in general, but in practice it feels superficial from the other side - I don’t understand why someone would make an effort to hang out with strangers, have a great time and never want to see them again. But that’s just my experience. I know some Australians, for instance, who had a really hard time trying to settle in Europe.
Its not complicated at all. Don’t Americans have this perception of French people as being rude?? Well, how do you think it looks from the other direction? Do you think French people perceive themselves as rude? Or do they perceive themselves as frank speakers? Its literally in the name of the country
Edit: you also have to remember that Wemby is surrounded by people who are dependent on his success so it’s not surprising that he may perceive some of his relationships here as inauthentic. He’s being hero worshipped without actually having accomplished anything of real note yet.
No, I honestly don’t have a perception of French people being rude
I thought about your point with wemby before I commented- but then I remembered that it’s something I hear from many different types of people of various ages and backgrounds.
Don’t Americans have this perception of French people as being rude??
Kind of… we have a perception of Parisians being rude, but people from other parts of France being friendly.
I’ll tell you are story.
We were at a summer camp with bad sanitary situation. So we were talking about where to take a shit. An american comes by and asks what you guys are talking about. About shitting. “You are so sincere”
No one was talking about family or diseases or wealth or any of that. We were talking about shitting. We gave an honest answer to a simple question.
How much time did it take us? None. We just don’t beat around the bush.
Though I’m Finnish so even other Europeans think we overshare.
Yup same it’s such a weird thing to observe
He’s just gotta be careful not to be like his fellow countryman Mbappe and talk about China
I noticed this very early in his rookie year. He has the least amount of “uhm”’s “uhh”’s and similar from any superstar player I’ve seen. When faced with a thoughtful question he’ll usually take a couple of seconds to gather his thoughts in order to articulate himself as well as possible.
As someone who’s made it a point to strengthen my word knowledge and vocabulary since elementary school through reading and challenging myself (and also to avoid multiplying the disadvantages that I already had in life), I always wanted to make sure that I could articulate anything in my brain, to anyone with 100% certainty.
I see a lot of that in Wemby. I’m sure he’s received some sort of French PR training as a teenager, but I really can’t express into words how refreshing it is to see this massive superstardom develop over a player, but how he doesn’t usually let the whirlwind of today’s media and digital communication age speed up his way of communication.
and also to avoid multiplying the disadvantages that I already had in life)
True Clippers fan words right here.
Lmao, to be fair I consider myself a Chris Paul fan firstly.
Not to mention this is in his second language which makes it incredible
He has the least amount of “uhm”’s “uhh”’s and similar from any superstar player I’ve seen. When faced with a thoughtful question he’ll usually take a couple of seconds to gather his thoughts in order to articulate himself as well as possible
Shai does that a lot too, I’ve noticed. It’s so different from the American players that go right off the dome when asked a question.
Great take actually. Well spoken
Well spoken is Wemby’s middle name
I thought he was going to say the good is no one judges you for ambition and the bad is that they do judge you for a lack of it.
thats why they don’t judge you for being ambitious, its because your relationship is superficial. No one gives a damn.
I don’t agree. As a french guy there’s a completely different mentality here around this sort of thing. I don’t think americans understand just how pessimistic french culture is. Ambition is kinda the cultural antipode of how it works here. It’s not about your relation to others.
I felt like the vibe in Paris was everyone seems so sure what they’re doing at 22 is what they’ll be doing the rest of their life. Everyone seemed so content with their path and were mostly trying to find out what they’d be doing Friday nights and on the weekend to have fun. Also Parisian guys were very much the too cool for school quiet type. There were exceptions but that was my general vibe.
To be fair Parisians don’t represent the average french guy at all.
Just like in the US New Yorkers don’t represent Americans.
You won’t find their mentality anywhere else in the country and they’re usually not appreciated.
I spent 16 years abroad and moved back to the States last year. What he said is both absolutely accurate and very astute observations of a man his age.
I agree with wemby, I don’t agree with the person I’m responding to.
This might be a European thing because it’s a similar thing in the UK as well.
I wouldn’t generalize 40+ countries
I mean ofc I just wanted to add my 2 pence
Can you expand on that idea more?
The French lost hope a long time ago and now are just existing.
You can pull any european poll that boils down “do you have hope for things to go right” and generally the bottom three will be france, greece and cyprus.
Even when things go right we have a tendency to kinda criticize it and assume the worst “yeah it worked this time but what if” or “worked so far but x will go wrong”.
Or even to compliment we talk in litotes, a figure of speech where you use the opposite to what you mean (?) Like not bad instead of saying good.
But generally we assume the worst, i’d say we even hope for the worst sometimes and comfort ourselves in the “i told you so”. We are a deeply negative people and we like it that way. We don’t trust easily either.
Anyone who does not conform to that mentality is mocked, hence ambition being seen as a sign of arrogance here because it goes against the conformism we have.
At least that’s how i’ve kinda perceived ourselves in introspection.
Europe too, well really most of the world you are born into your status and you just make the most of your life and enjoy it, but the idea that you will break the mold and have a crazy idea you will pursue to make yourself rich or famous etc is scoffed at or discouraged. It’s also harder to do elsewhere.
I feel like the phrase “ohhh-la-la” kinda demonstrates their sarcastic attitude towards people who try hard
It’s really interesting in tennis, french women are significantly less successful than men and I’ve always wondered if it’s because of that social attitude
I have heard similar things about the UK, I think especially during this World Cup a lot of what’s normal banter to them comes across as complaining to us
What? So authentic relationships would mean you would be judged for being ambitious?
It partly means people keep their real opinions to themselves in superficial relationships.
not would, could.
tl;dr
This is the real reason. Making real connections in the US is very difficult. ITT: People who have never spent significant time in other countries.
It’s unbelievably easy imo but depends where you go looking.
It’s easy to socialize and get Americans to be friendly with Americans. Making long-lasting friendships can be much harder compared to other countries.
People are just saying shit like it’s a known fact, according to who it’s harder? What authoritative study are you referring to?
How do you even know this to be true haha
Honestly I agree with this, I think Americans are much more willing to let friendships drift and pick them back up again when convenient rather than fight to stay close.
Sounds like you need to be looking in different places then
I have made genuine connections with multiple Americans purely through online friendships.
As always it’s about who, when and how
I’m sorry you don’t have real friends.
Dog where do you guys live lmao it’s not that hard to make friends in the States.
it does make a difference. people in detroit are generally cool, real ass people but go to grand rapids and shits not the same at all.
To make real good friends it’s hard in my opinion but I think it’s more of a generational thing than a cultural one
Depends on age. I’m still close to my middle school friends but I’ve also met close friends in my adult life. Both groups I’d do a lot for
He didn’t say it’s hard to make friends, he said interactions are shallow and not in depth. You can make friends easily, but are those really deep meaningful friendships or is it that all you and your friends talk about is surface level shit like sports.
Idk man I’m stateside and like 30 minutes from now I will be partying with like two or three dozen people I’ve known for at least 10, some 20+ years.
I don’t have a Facebook though.
Lol it’s actually easier in the US on a relative basis, you clearly haven’t lived anywhere else. People in most of the US are quite open to new friends. Compare that to Europe where your specific hometown, even within the same country, is used heavily to judge you.
The main reason it feels hard is because it’s hard to make real connections in general. Especially for the typical personality on reddit.
Nobody judges you for your hometown here, stop talking out of your ass.
There’s a whole lot of world outside of the West. Latin America is a lot easier to make friends. Also, large parts of Asia.
Depends what ethnicity you are. True for both LatAm and Asia. At least if you’re talking real friendships, not just buddies you hang out with.
People will give a shit about you if you first give a shit about them. Not 100% of the time, maybe not even 75% of the time, lucky if it’s 50% of the time, but you have to not let that stop you from giving a shit.
Depends where you live in the country. I definitely feel judged for being ambitious when I go back to Portland, just like I felt when I lived in Portland and went back to my small high school town,
Every time I hear this dude speak I really like him. Sucks I will have to hate watch this man
I hope I have the privilege to root against the guy if we ever make it out of the East. It’s so easy to get excited watching him.
It’s amazing how much more articulate he is in his second language than 99% or the American players are in their first.
He might’ve actually played school when he was growing up in France
Wemby is who Jaylen Brown thinks he is.
Jaylen Brown is smarter than you and a lot of people in the U.S.
Sit down.
He certainly thinks he is!
He is and none of y’all have any proof that he isn’t. You just hate and that’s it. Every time this comes up, none of y’all offer any actual proof that’s he’s dumb. But what you do tell the class is just how dumb you are.
I think only an idiot can be fooled by a fake intellectual like Brown.
You’re really showing your intelligence.
Is he though?
Yeah, just ask him
Yeah.
Have you seen how articulate America’s elected leader is?
Insert Bball Paul (bless him) “I don’t know what pace is but imma say it’s us.”
I imagine that’s generally true for most people who speak two languages fluently. When it takes effort to speak, you put more thought into your words. The connection isn’t as direct between thought and speech.
American culture strongly favors a communication style known as “positive politeness,” which emphasizes friendliness, enthusiasm, warmth, and making others feel included. In American social interactions, this often goes hand in hand with enthusiasm, optimism, and positive reinforcement.
This contrasts with communication styles more common in parts of Europe, particularly Northern Europe and Western Europe, where “negative politeness” tends to be more prominent. Despite the name, this simply means emphasizing personal boundaries, avoiding imposition, and respecting individual autonomy.
The divergence has several historical explanations. Alexis de Tocqueville, visiting America in the 1830s, observed that Americans interacted with strangers more readily than the English, attributing this largely to America’s comparatively egalitarian social structure and weaker aristocratic traditions.
America’s history of immigration and geographic mobility likely reinforced this tendency. In a society where people frequently interacted with strangers from different backgrounds, overt friendliness helped establish trust and social connections.
My sense is that Europeans can sometimes perceive this friendliness as disingenuous or even manipulative, particularly when similar expressions of warmth are reserved for closer relationships in their own cultures. Conversely, Americans can interpret more reserved European communication styles as cold or rude.
I think much of this mutual misunderstanding comes down to different cultural expectations of what sincerity and politeness look like - ultimately, I find it hard to believe that particular societies are incapable or unlikely to create close relationships.
Well put
I’m sure being a rich and famous celebrity intensifies that feeling of of superficiality. Odds are higher for him that someone talking to him wants something or is just interested in meeting someone famous than they are for me, just some random guy.
Reminder this kid is 22
22 year olds are not children
They’re closer to childhood than middle-age.
The relationships between people feel superficial because he’s a mega celebrity in the US. How often is he meeting people that don’t want anything from him and just want to hang out?
I’m a French-American dual citizen and I completely agree with his take. Of course we’re talking in generalities, so once you get down to the specific (individual) level, they can break down, but the difference is quite striking generally speaking, IMO.
Not discounting your comment about celebrity status changing things, though. I agree that definitely adds a layer to his experience.
He probably hasn’t had that since he was like 10.
Dude just described our entire society lol
American individualism also has a side effect of making people care mostly about themselves
And it’s only gotten worse in recent years.
People will judge you everywhere
I try and not judge people by a location city, state or country but I like Wemby as a dude and respect it
He’s earnest and he is doing his best to become the best. If he stays healthy he will be the new goat.
Transactional/Superficial? Yeah, I get that—especially in work settings. The pull to be or expect others to be a certain way is a human condition. It’s frustrating trying to navigate all these defensive mechanisms. The key is not losing ourselves to cynicism, right? (I still struggle to be vulnerable with others in person.) The trouble is we put up walls to protect ourselves. I’ve found after awhile it melts away. It can be as simple as a fist bump or a smile. One good day outweighs three. People are generally kinder and deeper than they let on. Keep on keeping on and be patient and charitable in your thoughts. We’re all in it together. Take your shots and talk your trash but don’t lose your hope and truth. (PS: Writing this to myself as much as the Cloud. Putting it to word isn’t to prop oneself up–it’s to make an affirmation. If the Golden Rule was easy we’d all practice it. Bridges would be built instead of missles.)
Wemby its superficial because you’re worth a quarter billion dollars already and people want some of that from you
I moved from Europe to the US and these are the two things I often say as well.
There is no limitation on what you can or cannot do. Which is such an amazing feeling.
He is correct that it feels a bit shallow. It feels often if they need something from you or are more focused on your status.
I love hearing his opinion. He’s clearly well spoken and thoughtful; to me I wouldn’t be surprised if I found out he was on the protesters side in France lol
As an immigrant to the U.S. i can def see where he is coming from.
Very mature young man. I am continually impressed with his opinions.
Most insightful Frenchman on America since De Tocqueville
He ain’t wrong
This dude always has banger quotes, he’s very sharp
I must be living in a different United States than yall.
Respectfully, Victor Wembanyama doesn’t know jack shit about normal relationships. Doesn’t matter if we’re in America or France or anywhere else. He’s an ultra famous millionaire who’s being hailed as the next greatest player of all time. He cannot have a normal life even if he wants to. If he thinks relationships are superficial, it says nothing about the broader culture and everything about life as a celebrity.
You’re right
But what wembys saying is also right
Maybe, but it’s hard to accept when someone just says your relationships aren’t as genuine. I haven’t lived elsewhere, but I don’t feel that way. I have lots of long term loving friendships.
I’ve lived in a number of places. When I stayed in the US I did feel that most relationships I had were superficial but that could also be just how all big cities are.
That’s fair. It’s going to be harder to have intimate relationships if you move around though. Most of closest friends are kids I played with growing up in my neighborhood, and people I met in school before I even hit puberty. I’m just one person though.
I live in America.. I have plenty of deep relationships…
I think that’s just the reality of growing up.
Is he right though? Plenty of people bash you in this country for being ambitious and a “striver”.
As a non famous immigrant who has lived in different nations. What he is saying is how I feel in both counts. There is no ceiling to ambition in the US. May it be due to capitalism or materialism people are certainly more ambitious. Not always in a good way either. The relationship aspect is also definitely true. Of course you have deep relationship with people but on an average it is bit more specifical compared to other countries I have lived. This is my experience and experience I have shared with many immigrants.
i agree however on the flipside, the average big city american has way more diverse friendgroup than the average big city denizen of any other country. Paris is not as diverse as nyc for example by a long shot, especially professionally
I understand America is too big to make these generalizations, but diversity works into Wemby’s point, often it can be diffcult to connect to someone with a completely different background. It is much easier to build deeper relationships when you’re meeting people from the same culture in other countries.
Is diverse in America just americans from different ethnicities but that are still American?
Not necessarily. In NYC you can 100% be friends with people who are undocumented, or on a visa of some kind.
It’s almost like he had a childhood, family, community, etc?
Okay I thought it was implied but I guess not. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have normal relationships with Americans in America because of the giant elephant in the room. He can meet people in his daily life walking around San Antonio but it’s not the same as his friends when he was in elementary school.
Just putting this out there do you think he could be talking about his peers in the nba.
Wasn’t even remotely implied lol. It definitely read like he’s never experienced being a regular person at any point
He’s comparing social dynamics in France to those in America. I feel it’s worth pointing out the giant, enormous factor influencing his own personal experience when he makes this comparison.
Not on earth /s
Why couldn’t he have normal relationships ? Dude is still an human being. It’s not about being rich or famous but about keeping his feet on earth and he is doing well, surrounded by a united family since his youth. It’s about choices.
Even if he is living a extraordinary life right now, nothing prevent him to have his own private life with his longtime friends he knows before he even entered into NBA
You’re american, you can’t understand what he’s referring to and that’s fine
I just came back after living abroad for 6 years. I am neither famous nor a millionaire. He’s right on both counts.
Don’t assume that someone can’t observe the country’s culture solely because he’s rich.
respectfully, you’re american so you’re probably rtrded
he says while consuming an american sport on a website made by americans btw 🤓
Buddy if you can’t spell it out just use a different word. Perhaps expand your vocabulary before people confuse you for an ignorant fool
Respectfully, the commenter is absolutely correct. I’m just curious why this thought didn’t come onto everybody’s mind the moment they read this post.
Wembanyama comes to Texas as a mega-celebrity. How is it surprising that the relationships he has formed here, between people from different cultures who are mostly in awe of his celebrity, will feel more superficial in general?
Nice try, Vladimir
They will boo you for telling the truth. You said something brave but true tonight.
God damn the salt of you people