[Lowlight] Jalen Duren shows off his vet-minimum rap skills: “I lost my bitch to a dy*e, I said fuck it she can have her, cause she gonna do shit I dont..”
Pistons should take 50M off the 200M offer for this atrocious performance alone
10million lost for every verse
go figure motherfucker every verse is a brick
Go figure motherfucker every shot is a brick š¤
you wanna see a dead body?
Instrumentals from my mama’s Christmas party
Then another one then another one
10 million lost for every bar
Oof… That line sounds truly autobiographical and is a crazy thing to put out there. I really have a feeling like he’s going to end up getting paid in Sacramento and be mediocre for the rest of his career. He raps with the same intensity and creativity that he played with in the playoffs.
I saw a rumor that Milwaukee wanted to trade Myles Turner for him, and I’d jump all over that in a heartbeat if I were Trajan Langdon.
Duren heard Aaron Rodgers on that podcast and was like “hold my beer…”
Take another 50 for the rap disgracing a good beat
I canāt lie the beat was hot garbage the bars made it worse
Naw thatās an acceptable Michigan style beat they have a weird sound like that. The bars really ruin it
The streamer turned that shit off at the exact right time lol. Trying to act like he was enjoying that trash š
Man Fisticuffs dropped bars way harder.
āWhat?! Uhh! Turn my headphones up! I’m serious, n***a, turn them shits up! Turn ‘em up! Hold up…
āIām serious, n***a, I can’t hear out of this ear, turn my headphones up!ā
Put some treble in it thatās my word!
Just tell em his exes new girlfriend took it
And moved to Sacramento
And another one and another
And another 50 for doing this stream with trashboi max
“Actually you know what, forget it”
His job is play basketball not rap.
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This gives so much clarity to the situation. Dudes unwilling to touch the box. A fucking center afraid to box out, shameful
some of these comments are so good lmao
With content like this the steak is too juicy the lobster too buttery. We eating good fam š¦ š„©
I barely watch basketball, I honestly follow this sub mostly cuz itās legitimately the funniest one on reddit
r/playboicarti is pretty hilarious at times. i barely listen to dudeās music but the sub is barely about his music anyway
Terrible sub
Like i donāt want to overanalyze a rap verse but definitely giving vibes of the DJ Khaled expecting head but refusing to give it lol
Oh heās definitely saying that. I will never get it
Ok. So two things. Iām not a rapper but itās literally insane that this isnāt a freestyle. This is legit bad for a freestyle. And preposterously bad for HAVING SAT DOWN TO THINK ABOUT IT AND WRITE IT. Good fucking lord. Secondly, giving head to a girl (especially if you find her really attractive and all, duh) is literally amazing. And holy shit she will suck your dick like her life depends on it after/during. Like whatāre these guys talking about. Anyway. Rant over.
Maybe he was talking about butt stuff?
You win.
He cannot possibly be the best Angel Reese can do.
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I’m starting to understand why he crumbled in the playoffs.
At this I think all of this has left a sour taste in Pistons Mouths. Even if he takes any deal with them, it feels so anti climatic, and the only thing they will wonder about is how he will play in the Playoffs
Jalen doesnāt like any sour tastes in his mouth either apparently
I thought that was the joke
Sounds like his sex life is also anti-climactic
Weāve found his joke
His joke but worse
Is that what it tastes like?
I think that even if he were to sign the Piston’s multiyear offer, trade rumors are going to swirl at the first sign of on court issues.
Detroit sports fans been getting steady shit on this year. Dylan Larkin (fuck him) Skubal (more understandable, but he went to the Dodgers so fuck him too) now Jalen Duren.
Hey at least there is talent to be frustrated with I guess?
Man ever since Ben Simmons decided to sit out a season with a tantrum these guys feel real comfortable burning bridges.
>anticlimactic
š
And why Angel Reese left him.
Yesh… just not a good look.
How long til we see franchises start implementing a team-wide ban on streaming?
This shit canāt possibly be good for business
Meanwhile, sneaker companies are begging to give these dumbasses millions.
Yeah at least with podcasts, dudes feel a little embarrassed to say something really dumb. With streaming, you’d got hundreds of NPCs in the chat hyping you up over every little thing
Podcasts also aren’t live and anything can be edited out. Once the first player gets cancelled on stream, teams will probably be way stricter about it
I mean Meyers Leonard absolutely was cancelled and out of the league because of streaming. I think he got a 10-day a couple years after but streaming essentially ended his career.
It’s a super bad idea for athletes.
I totally forgot about that. I would say that he wasn’t good enough for a real substantial change. It would definitely take maybe a superstar for that to happen. And lowkey in a way the foundation is there. I honestly don’t think Jaylen Brown is getting traded the same way if he isn’t a streamer
This makes MPJ even more baffling lmao
Wasn’t Meyers Leonard suspended for something on his twitch stream?
Not a good enough player for anyone to care
This has to be the answer. I was waiting for the day that JB finally said something horrifying on the stream, but that’s Philly’s problem now.
I really hope they don’t, i love seeing what kind of stupid shit some of these people do and what kind of moronic fartnuggets they are when given the opportunity. Makes me value them more fairly.
They needed to yesterday lol
??? Drama is bad for business now?
Nooo! If they did, how do we get to see gems like these?!
“another one and another one” Jalen Duren aka the NBA DJ Khaled
But see, then he rhymed it with āanother oneā
I bet you couldnāt have thought of that.
Only Pitbull is allowed to do that
and another one
Marshal, that you?
Praying for this dude to get off the team and go be a rich bum forever with the Kings
Havenāt Kings fans suffered enough!?!
NO.
The beatings will continue until morale improves
He can work in some cow bell beats.
I mean, respectfully Kings fans are choosing to suffer by willing rooting for the Kings.
Being a bandwagon fan is a lot worse.
I meanā¦ thereās a middle ground lol. Thereās plenty of mid-tier teams that arenāt championship-contending front runners
Always watching and following the best team available seems like a way more enjoyable way to spend time on basketball than being a fucking kings or clippers fan.
not their fault their parents had sex in Sacramento and they were born there.
Could’ve been got into esports
Iām not even American bro
Love our boys though
weāre getting 25 wins this year!!!
Never
The Pacer’s special… I wish Sabonis well, but it’s no coincidence the Pacer’s made the conference finals, then the finals, once Sabonis was on the Kings
They traded for a better player.
I see similar criticism of Randle from Knicks fans a lot and it always makes me laugh. āThe team got better when they traded him!ā
Yea, thatāll happen when you turn Julius Randle into Karl Anthony Towns lmao
Not even just that, they made the Bridges trade the same offseason lol. It wouldāve been the death of the franchise for the foreseeable future if they werenāt better after sending all those picks out for those players
Exact same thing with the warriors replacing David Lee with Draymond, but that never stopped fans from assigning 100% of the credit for getting to the next level to Steve Kerr
Both teams had imbalanced rosters. Neither team was going to do anything until those imbalances were addressed. Pacers got the better combo.
So glad we donāt have guard that doesnāt fit with Fox.
Did Sabonis specifically have to go to the Kings? What if he went to Memphis instead? Would the Pacers still have made a Finals run?
This has nothing to do with Sabonis and everything to do with Haliburton
He will net less money than he would with the Pistons deal
So? I personally really donāt care about him missing out on millions
I donāt either. Just pointing out that heās making a bad decision.
No please, haven’t we been through enough?!
Shoulda traded his dumb ass to the Lakers for Bronny
He’ll probably get injured chasing a double double in a blowout & fuck up the š°!
Honestly, I wouldnāt mind him if youāre taking Sabonis and weāre giving up protected assets
We donāt want him
Unloyal ass fans
please duren is a whiny bum. outplayed by wendell carter. heās 7 foot kuminga with a worse jumper
damn yall really dont want him on your team? he had a great regular season and was bad in his first playoff series. Heās still very young he can def improve more
It wasnāt his first playoff series. Thereās no guarantee that heāll improve. So many players get paid, become comfortable, and never make the improvements everyone expected from them.
There are also questions about his ankles and whether they affected his performance in the playoffs, but those are just rumors nothing has been confirmed. If that is actually the case, thereās also the possibility that heās downplaying or hiding the extent of the pain because he doesnāt want it to hurt his value during contract negotiations.
This shit ass š„š„
And another one and another one
We gonna ignore the fact that he just basically said he’s scared of vagina?
Lost my lady to another lady Thatās ok because I donāt like to touch vaginas
Lost my lady to another lady
Thatās ok because I donāt like to touch vaginas
This seems like an accurate paraphrase
See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, chuck. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, chuck! And if they didn’t fuck the assholes, you know what you’d get? You’d get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!
is he not talkin bout booty hole here ??
Get ready to rap in chinese buddy
From what my uncle told me, the Chinese love eating pussy
Max already been to China and has had Chinese rappers on stream. They’re way better than Duren.
Learn Chinese
Imagine having the confidence to publicly state you dont pleasure your woman…in the most talentless tasteless way.
Bro thinks “i don’t eat pussy” is a flex.
If weāre keeping it a bean, not eating pussy is high key gay
Not according to Jalen Duren’s old lady
crazy take but if ur a supposed straight guy, wanting head but not wanting to eat pussy might mean ur not fully straight. receiving head is just pleasure and u can receive it from someone who isnt a woman anyways. eating pussy actually means ur attracted to a womanās body which is a very straight thing to be
as a gay guy i find it so fucking weird that this is even a conversation for straight men. tf you mean you won’t go down on her? genuinely what is the problem - is it a masculinity thing or what? my also-gay buddies laugh about this all the time.
Not grabbing rebounds or playing defense is also gay tbh
I think that way of flexing died in the mid/late 2000’s lol, but go listen to older rap. Shit, even Freddie Gibbs in 2013 was on that shit.
Well.
He doesn’t say exactly what he isn’t eating.
Lil Wayne loves eating pussy and heās one of the greatest rappers of all time. Meanwhile the guys on the other side of that are DJ Khaled and Jalen Duren
I think the conclusion is clear
To be a good rapper it is vital that you are also a cunning linguist.
layup
Eat her till she cry. call that wine and dine.
I miss Lil Wayneās bars man, there are still some clever rappers out there but no one exactly like him
If only he hadn’t nuked his brain with lean, we might still be getting good stuff from him
2 Chainz was doing it for a while
isn’t that more like… “whine” and dine? cos he made her cry?
Wine / whine and dine. Double entendre
Every time I learn something about DJ Khaled it’s nothing good
His best skill in life is somehow convincing people to be on his songs
Michael Douglas too. Got throat cancer from eating too much pussy even
Explains how he was able to bag prime Catherine Zeta-Jones when he was double her age
Based on DJ Khaleds size I assumed he ate just about anything
Pussy and hot wings is where he draws the line.
Put some icing on it and he’s down for whatever.
Same with Mac miller
“a pussy and some almonds”
The math is mathing
Danny Brown might be the goat
QED
I had to award this comment lmao made me laugh so hard
lol thanks dawg
Thatās the hold up in the contract negotiations but Duren wonāt budge
His verse blew me away. I’m like “maybe he doesn’t like the kitty?”
Even his own chat was frying him on the stream.
He definitely has more haters than fans at this point.
This guy seems like the e biggest chud
do you know what a chud is?
Cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller. Seems fitting. You know you’re not supposed to actually eat the pussy right?
wasnt talking to you lol
sick reddit avatar bro
Must be nice being an athlete and people rarely calling you a dumb fuck to your face
That number is going to increase drastically if he keeps acting like this.
I canāt explain it but watching this feels exactly like that clip where Tyler Herro says he doesnāt believe in history
Boutta have the big theee of dumbasses in Duren, Herro, and Kuzma, with KPJ on the side. Kill me.
Thereās a venn diagram between dudes that wonāt go down on their women and men who donāt read
I feel the need to add that’s still one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.
His friends and family need to tell him the truth more lol
duren not an eater
He’s not even a toucher based on the lyrics he just spit
Dude canāt find the clit like it was his jump shot.
both require finesse and touch
Touching women is gay
Fellas is it gay to attack the rim?
Women like men, and liking men is gay. So if you date a women you are in a gay relationship. Couldn’t be me.
Must be a big DJ Khaled fan
Jamie Benn has entered the chat
Duren does NOT bunch mox
what a throwback lol
A rare winter sports crossover moment
Maybe a fan of Andrew Tate who says desiring sex with women for pleasure is gay
Certified anorexic.
fellas is it gay to like vaginas?
When youāre banging on a guy, it makes you realize vagina is icky yucky
When a guy is banging youā¦
Dicks come in, dicks come out.
Cant explain that other than gay. Plus women like men so thats gay too.
Fellas, is it gay to have sexual intercouse with your wife?
Super Duper Gay
dicks touch vaginas so if you touch one you are gay by the transitive property
They have cooties!
If so, then call me Oscar Wilde
overly
Obviously. Vaginas have likely had a penis in them, and that’s very gay
Dude made a shitty rap song with underlying homophobia just to say heās sub-par in pleasuring women š goofy
Homophobia? I thought this rap was about him coming out and bravely confessing that he isn’t attracted to women.
He’s making himself look like a š¤” not taking the deal
You donāt get it bro 200 million dollars is only 102 million after taxes. He needs more
You don’t get life changing money when getting life changing money, you only get life changing money. He needs more life changing money.
Damn, if only i won the lottery every year for 5 years
Heās a clown for not eating pussy
This video is old btw
Post says Feb 13th of this year. Is it older than that?
This truly is the perfect song to drop the day before Valentine’s day. Nothing more romantic than letting everyone know your stupid, think pussy is gross, and have no flow.
Damn he keeps getting his girls taken by someone, maybe itās him t this point
No child left behind flow
Hold up, I see why he’s turning down that $200M deal. The rap career has potential.
Smart man. He can make that 200M in 1 tour the way he spittin
Turn it down. Just to grind from the rap game.
What do people say, every rapper wishes they were a basketball player and every basketball player wishes they were a rapper?
Holy fuckin yikes. Not only are the lyrics unbelievably cringe, but it sounds like total utter ass.
First nba player to get NFL-level CTE
As a Nuggets fan, I wish we could say he’s the first
Thought I was on the circlejerk sub for a second
Oh that sub will be feasting tonight
Wait didnāt he date Angel Reese? Is this supposed to be an insult towards her?
She’s currently dating Wendell Carter Jr. so it’s not her.
Rakim shaking in his boots
Not pleasuring your partner is such loser behavior.
Bring back shame
āShe gone touch shit I wonātā - what? That means youāre gay bro.
I guess itās good to learn about different players, now I know Jalen keeps a loose hold on his bag and despite the fact that the female form disgusts him, he carries on and hooks up with lots of women
Casually dropping a lesbophobic slur wow i love being a gay woman who likes sports.
Silver lining, you can apparently steal Jalen Duren’s girlfriends about it at least
Time to send our strongest lesbians to Detroit right before playoffs.
Jalen Duren stuck in a panopticon, playing hurt on the qualifying offer, watching the United Lesbians of Lower Michigan “doing shit that he don’t, touching shit that he won’t” to every woman who crosses his path.
Welcome to insecure weirdo hell!
ain’t it just the most fun š«
isnāt it fun ššš on the plus side heās literally saying weāre better than he is and we get more women lol
Love being a trans woman and reading the whole MPJ stuff
yeah same, hearing shit like this in 2026 is still jarring to me bc i do not surround myself with people like this in my daily life.
Bro just outed himself at being bad in bed lmfao
A pussy is some dude who undoubtedly expects women to go down on him and would never ever go down on pussy. 200 million for this bum. The Pistons should be relieved he rejected it.
Pistons need to withdraw the offer ASAP. This bum is worth nowhere near that smh
Oh heās one of those āgoing down on your girl is gayā dudes.
2026 and hes bragging about not eating pussy
I would bet everything I own that he has some Dwight Howard in him
So he said āand she will touch shit I wonātā as a brag. Dude thinks not satisfying his woman is a bar?
Homophobia is far too commonplace, and even celebrated in the NBA.
I mean he just announced that he is gay with these lyrics so….
this sounds more like closeted shit to me lol
I mean those two things are extremely symbiotic
A lot of these guys grow up listening to rap where itās celebrated too. What do you expect?
That’s not an excuse, I grew up listening to rap and admit homophobia is bad and stupid.
I never said it was an excuse. Iām saying that most people become a product of their environment. They idolize these rappers so they grow up acting like them.
I grew up in an environment that should’ve influenced me to be just about anything other than what I chose to be.
It’s a choice, not an obligation, to adhere to the lessons you are taught, or learn to be better than them.
That’s the difference, that’s the reason you say “most people” and not all people. Most people would rather choose to try and fit in, rather than take it upon themselves to learn to be better than what influences they had.
These dudes more likely grew up to lil Wayne (almost drowned in her pussy so I swam to her butt) then old head sexually repressed pimpin tracks
What did he say that was homophobic?
The D word is a slur for gay women, if you didn’t know that, now ya do.
Oh. Cause I was in New York in 2024 and they literally had something called a D*** march.
Damn, you really must be an extra level of dumb huh?
I mean he literally said a fucking homophobic slur.
I mean they have a celebration using that word
You canāt even tell the difference between this & that? Thereās no fucking correlation. As a butch please be more educated about it and stop this ignorance.
Man the vibes in the Detroit locker room are going to be RANCID this season, huh?
Not if they get rid of him
Jalen āstarfishā Duren
Not saying I can rap better, but I certainly cant rap worse than that.
Yeah casually saying slursā¦
First of all, why does it look like his mouth’s not moving? Second, why do guys think not eating pussy is something to be proud of? Third…. this dude really is a dumbass, goddamn.
Because itās not. Theyāre listening to what they just recorded
Ah that at least explains one of the weird things about this video.
The mindset that they have is that they are the master and should only receive because giving is something that people who are subservient do.
Far closer to minimum wage than vet minimum.
Dude is trash.
And just like that, I hope the Kings donāt ever get this guy
You really canāt get any more robotic and monotone than that. š
Yikes
No he said D***
Ivey looking like the good one of the 2 now
DJ Khaled ass. i mean iāll fucking do it if youāre so goddamn scared
imagine if women thought it was gay to suck a schlong
Iāve been a big Duren guy for a while, but maaaaan itās really tough these days