Naming every team after their etymological root

Bearing-Together of the Shine of Dawn, Cleaving of the Enduring-Bearer:
Boston Hidden-Ones
Brooklyn Knots
New York Marble-Bakers
Philadelphia Six-and-Seventies
Toronto Seizers

Bearing-Together of the Shine of Dawn, Cleaving of the Prick:
Chicago Bellowers
Cleveland Horsemen
Detroit Pounders
Indiana Steppers
Milwaukee He-Goats

Bearing-Together of the Shine of Dawn, Cleaving of the Sun-Ward Dawn-Shine:
Atlanta Graspers
Charlotte Horned-Ones
Miami Warmth
Orlando Magi-Craft
Washington Wise-Ones

Bearing-Together of the Evening, Cleaving of the Left-Hand Evening:
Denver Lumps
Minnesota Building-Wolves
Oklahoma City Din
Portland Path-Markers
Utah Jazz

Bearing-Together of the Evening, Cleaving of the Peace-Making:
Golden State War-Wagers
LA Swift-Ones
LA Pond-Folk
Phoenix Suns
Sacramento Kinsmen

Bearing-Together of the Evening, Cleaving of the Sun-Ward Evening:
Dallas Unbranded-Ones
Houston Distaff-Spools
Memphis Grayed-Ones
New Orleans Axe-Beaks
San Antonio Spurners

i used http://www.etymonline.com/ for finding these. The jazz didn’t have one. Idea came from this: https://np.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/1pqrb4z/naming_every_team_after_their_etymological_root/

yeropinionman | Pistons

61 | 4 hours ago

There should be alternate jerseys honoring the Detroit Pounders

fishdude89 | Bucks

25 | 4 hours ago

Pounders all-time roster:

CCH Pounder 2.

OptimusGrime707 | Kings

27 | 4 hours ago

GODDAMMIT DUTCH, WHAT OTHER ERRANDS DO YOU HAVE US RUNNIN’ FOR THE DA???

veganxombie

5 | 3 hours ago

yo, where my senators at dawg?

theairbrushedvan

39 | 4 hours ago

Stealy stealy, this is going in my d&d games

Tabais123

22 | 4 hours ago

Utah not even trying

ajteitel | Suns

10 | 4 hours ago

Just like their uniforms

Minamus_Majesticus | Jazz

7 | 4 hours ago

You’re two years too late

SendKelly2Mars | Trail Blazers

6 | 3 hours ago

The root word for jazz is jism. AKA cum. That won’t fly in SLC.

repo_sado | Knicks

5 | 2 hours ago

it also didn’t fly at the adults only ghost tour, even though I was told we could swear

TheAlmightyConch | Spurs

3 | an hour ago

Big fat load of cum, then

6unk

3 | an hour ago

Eh not exactly, the words are related but were originally more general/context-dependent (referring to spirit or energy) and acquired their more narrow meanings over time.

AlmostHereButNot | Bulls

19 | 4 hours ago

This is some Game of Zones shit.

StrategyTop7612 [OP] | Clippers

9 | 4 hours ago

I miss game of zones.

chillinois1 | Bulls

13 | 4 hours ago

Keeping Six and Seventies ready if Philly gets off to a slow start

Wooden_Good8679 | Spurs

12 | 4 hours ago

Ayo, thanks for the midday stroke, I appreciate you.

ajteitel | Suns

8 | 4 hours ago

I’m disappointed. I wanted a cool name

cantspell_rite

5 | 4 hours ago

You chose ajteiel. You’re stuck with it. As to your actual name, it’s legally changeable

ajteitel | Suns

1 | 4 hours ago

The team name, you potato

Those you aren’t wrong on that part lol

cantspell_rite

1 | 2 hours ago

TIL I’m a potato

thereticent | Pacers

0 | 3 hours ago

Mimikasu. It means cat piss.

Sharky-Boat

6 | 4 hours ago

What does this mean for the JaZz?

bkos55 | Cavaliers

5 | 4 hours ago

Atlanta Graspers sounds like that strip club TI owned over on Marietta Street.

The_MadStork | NYK

10 | 4 hours ago

How many AI-assisted shitposts can one account post in a single offseason? StrategyTop7612 is about to find out!

(Seriously, can the mods please ban this AI slop account already?)

StrategyTop7612 [OP] | Clippers

10 | 4 hours ago

Dude, this isn’t AI, I figured it out myself

The_MadStork | NYK

24 | 4 hours ago

Given your history of AI posts (many of which you’ve deleted after lying that you didn’t use AI), forgive me for not believing you.

TheCornwallis

2 | an hour ago

What’s crazy is probably 4 out of every 5 of his posts get taken down/ removed , but still has like 5 a day. Insane

wistful_grace | Raptors

2 | 4 hours ago

r/nba users see more than 5 words and scream AI every time

Room_Temp_Coffee | Lakers

1 | 3 hours ago

It’s the internet in general at this point unfortunately. No one believes anything.

(I’m not defending OP)

nowhathappenedwas | NBA

2 | 3 hours ago

https://np.reddit.com/r/baseball/comments/1pqrb4z/naming_every_team_after_their_etymological_root/

braddeus | Heat

4 | 4 hours ago

Detroit, Milwaukee, New Orleans the big winners here

AAAutin | Bucks

6 | 3 hours ago

He-Goats he-goated.

yeropinionman | Pistons

3 | 4 hours ago

This is very fun, good job

StaleMemesNoDreams | Cavaliers

3 | 4 hours ago

Smh downvoted, u should have broken down the city names as well

thereticent | Pacers

6 | 3 hours ago

City in the Land of the People of India

StaleMemesNoDreams | Cavaliers

1 | 2 hours ago

Perfect

regular_gonzalez | Nuggets

3 | 3 hours ago

Denver Lumps

Feeling personally called out rn

yeropinionman | Pistons

1 | an hour ago

Fat Lever is an all-time great Denver Lump

Dddddddfried | Knicks

3 | 3 hours ago

What the fuck are you talking about?

Russell_has_TWO_Ls | Grizzlies

3 | 3 hours ago

I also have no idea what this is

Azemiopinae | Supersonics

3 | 3 hours ago

Sorry, I need these taken all the way back to their PIE roots. Anything less is cultural appropriation, and anti-language.

genius_streams | Cavaliers

2 | 4 hours ago

This fuckin rips

AoO2ImpTrip | Thunder

2 | 3 hours ago

Phoenix Suns > Phoenix Suns is sending me for some reason.

anotherdanwest | 76ers

2 | 3 hours ago

Philadelphia Six Seven

schitaco | Kings

2 | 2 hours ago

TIL we don’t know the etymology of the word jazz

baseketball | Celtics

2 | an hour ago

WTF does this even mean? Why is Boston Hidden Ones?

Substantial_Show_308

1 | 4 hours ago

If BatBoy makes jerseys and hats around these, I would buy

cantspell_rite

1 | 4 hours ago

Your effort has not gone unnoticed.

RageOnGoneDo | BOS

1 | 2 hours ago

The root word of Jazz is “jizz”. Yes, that jizz.

ProletarianLilith

1 | an hour ago

Chicago means smelly onion, I was hoping you were gonna do the city name roots

Difficult_Tackle9505

1 | 32 minutes ago

“Bearing-Together of the Shine of Dawn, Cleaving of “. .. #WTF DOES ANY OF THIS EVEN MEAN????????