Celtics rookies guess if quotes are from Joe Mazzulla or an ancient philosopher
“I watch The Town four times a week.”
-Plato
Well duh, Joe watches it way more
I feel like this whole post and even the org is just coping with abuse and PTSD, like Brad Stevens is the mind and Mazulla is the first. These rookies are pure beings but are now realizing they will be inadvertently materially punished for their answers.
My brothers, blink 3 times if you are under duress.
Rumor has it The Town was playing in the cave
Both show that you can never escape your situation, especially if you don’t understand where you come from. You don’t really know what your reality is until someone else tells you.
Mazulla after getting hired by lakers: “actually I watch Heat four times a week”
Joe Mazulla in his 8th season as HC, “Actually I never really cared for the The Town”
that’s definitely the kind of quote a rokoie would confuse
Can’t believe it’s only been four years since Udoka got fired/suspended and this weird-ass guy who’d never even sat on the front of a bench in an NBA game became the Celtics interim coach. I distinctly remember everyone thinking “who?”
I did just did a quick trip down Reddit memory lane trip, this line from four years ago (in a post about the coaching change, referencing Udoka’s relationship controversy) illustrates how fast things can change: “Brooklyn must be relieved to not be the center of attention for once.” Not sure I remember Brooklyn getting any attention at all since a short time after.
It’s always been a wild what-if. My side-note is that Will Hardy left for the Jazz that offseason and was most likely next in line if he was there. So, if he hadn’t left (presumably because he didn’t think he was getting the HC job with the Celtics anytime soon), he’s probably in that spot over Mazzulla.
I’ve never heard the Celtics comment directly on that, though, so there’s a smidge of a chance they would have gone with Mazzulla anyways, but it seems doubtful. Fun “Sliding Doors” moment for the Celtics, Hardy, and Mazzulla.
After hiring hardy apparently Ainge also asked for permission to hire Mazulla to his staff and Brad said “hey cmon”
That’s actually a really cool element to it too, do you think Hardy is a good coach who is just tanking? I think with the talent the Celtics have it would only be a matter of time before they broke through because they were perennial contenders but I do wonder if the specifics of Mazzulla are the difference maker or if a possible Udoka or Hardy lead team could break through just with a different philosophy with that roster
Celtics were knocking on the door for so many years and I think any above average coach could’ve pushed them to the ring.
But last year was where Mazzulla really shined. Despite losing 3 starters and a 6th man, Maz had the team competing.
Lol damn. Poor Brooklyn
Lol wtf this is genuinely hard
The ones that involve darkness, fighting, and animals are Joe
Aristotle had a lot to say about animals, but nothing to say about Joe Rogan
Source?
From Stanford Plato’s list of Aristotle’s works in thematic divisions:
Theoretical Sciences: Physics (Phys.), Generation and Corruption (Gen. et Corr.), De Caelo (DC) [On the Heavens], Metaphysics (Met.), De Anima (DA) [On the Soul], Parva Naturalia (PN) [Brief Natural Treatises], History of Animals (HA), Parts of Animals (PA), Movement of Animals (MA), Meteorology (Meteor.), Progression of Animals (IA), Generation of Animals (GA)
because these works are by Aristotle and about Animals, QED
The part where I said Aristotle had nothing to say about Joe Rogan is unprovable
“Joe Rogan is an animal.” –Aristotle
Yeah, I was referring to Aristotle talking about Joe Rogan. I meant it as a joke, but forgot you also mentioned animals lol. Sorry
I knew the one about “pleasure in the job” wasn’t him because it sounded too basic. Like said below, a lot of his quote are more edgy. Not saying he wouldn’t have the sentiment but he’d word it differently.
if it’s edgy it’s joe
These were pretty easy if you think about it though. If it was edgy it was Joe
Bro how? Context, phrasing, and context are all blatant giveaways. Idk how you could get any of those wrong
Elite offseason content
The big aristotle never said “shoot more 3s”
That’s why he’ll never be the GOAT like Socra3s
Should do a Coach Joe or Travis Bickle version with next year’s rookies
“Illegal screen… illegal screen… illegal screen… illegal screen… illegal screen.”
-Tacitus
“Who put these fucking pickles in my potato salad?”
I watched that thing, and when it replayed, I realized I still didn’t know whether a quote was from a philosopher or Mazzulla.
Plot twist: Coach and the philosopher are one and the same
Lmao really is the off-season
“The animal kingdom is the most pure form of hierarchy that there is.”
Sounds like someone hasn’t read Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution.
Lmao easy approach is just divide the sayings into the pleasant ones and the dumb edgy ones, and then you’ll get it right every time.
Gonna be honest, everything I’ve heard about Joe Mazzulla makes him sound like the worst kind of emotionally stunted, pseudo-profound edgelord with the worldview of a teenage boy. He might be a great coach in spite of it (or maybe even in some ways because of it), but I hope no one is taking him as any kind of model for behavior because I’ll just say being that way has high costs.
Carpal tunnel epidemic from all the jerking off to Mazzula
Can’t hear you over the sound of The Town being played on every device I own
Bethlehem? I’m only familiar with one town. I don’t know too much about others. Hopefully they’re Celtics fans.
No, that’s the club Jesus was transferred to after a stellar season in Tottenham
One thing about that Jesus guy, he really knew how to take one for the team.
He also had a killer cross
Damn. Your joke was way better than mine lol
Arguable 💜💜
What
Don’t make eye contact in the circle.
That’s definitely a philosopher and not Joe. Joe would encourage the most intense eye contact
Would he pass the baby oil though? I need to know if he’s a team player or not.
Why are you so uptight about this? Just a quirky little segment because Mazzulla sometimes speaks in this kind of profound language. Mazzulla made the team watch killer whale film to help them in basketball. He’s a weird, quirky, interesting guy. Do you also consider it “jerking off” when any team’s social media has poked fun at a player or coach?
Why are you so defensive about this? Just a quirky little joke because fans lube themselves up for this man.
Remember, if you make eye contact in the circle, it means you gotta kiss.
Probably because the incessant whining iabout anyone who gets any love is ridiculous. Which gets very tiring. But r/nba can’t stop make the same tired jokes about it.
Because it’s a weird ass comment to make. Completely harmless fun and you can’t help yourself I guess
I’m sorry that you got offended.
You too
Too bad he chokes women in public
he was an alcoholic with serious mental issues, he was arrested for assaulting a woman at 21 and went to get the treatment he needed. in the 16 years since then, he’s turned his life around and never done anything like that again
redditors love to pretend they believe in rehabilitative justice until they get the chance to make a snarky comment about it
He’s got the deadpan down. Not sure what the problem with this is.
Can’t just violate my HIPAA rights like that