The Philadelphia 67ers.

1767 was the year the Mason-Dixon Line Survey was completed, marking the border between Pennsylvania and Maryland

the Chicago Bears? thats a stupid name no way anyone would ever name their team that

Pistoffs is crazy haha

you must be a genius

Miami ice is a dope name for a team

Sacramento Serfs goes hard ngl

Utah Heavy Metal

Orlando Science is an oxymoron lmfao

Would be a good bit for games that happened on April 1st.

NASA needs to reach out to bro rn

Orlando Sciene and Toronto Asteroids are phenomenal work 😂 👏

This is brilliant. Seattle Active Basketball Team is a stroke of genius. OP really saved the best for last.

My only question is why are Bears the opposite of Bulls? Wouldn’t matadors be the opposite?

Oklahoma City Silence goes pretty hard

Sacramento Serfs goes so hard and suits the organization perfectly

YER A MUGGLE, AJ

New York Blouses
Milwaukee Hunters

Chicago China Shops

Miami Ice is pretty cool

Dallas Icemans

Philadelphia 67ers

Fukkin lmao at Pistons. Well done OP.

Quentin Tarantino moving to San Antonio as we speak

wait “oklahoma city silence” is actually kinda tough

I’m gonna start using Dallas Conformists now. Just because it will piss Texans off.

How is the opposite of Timberwolf a Buck?

LA Clippers -> LA Shipwrecks

I kinda like “Orlando Science” lol

Pistoffs

Orlando Science is my favorite

Chicago should be cows

Wouldn’t Moons be the opposite of Suns?

Or Night?

I like the Sacramento Peasants personally. More fitting than their current name anyways.

New York skinny jeans

Miami COLD

Miami Chill

Edit: Also thank you for good off-season content.

Handful of these dont sound too bad either. Toronto Asteroids is not the worst sounding team name I’ve ever heard of

the San Antonio Smooth Unadorned Boots?

This is America, it should be the Washington No-Maj!

Also, Detroit EVs maybe?

Happy to be here early for a historic moment

It’s really interesting what different people think when asked for the opposite of the other thing. Apparently I’m the opposite of my favorite food?

The Phoenix Black Holes is such an accurate description of that city 😂

Atlanta Doves could have really happened. The Braves were once known as the Boston Doves.

chicago cows

OKC Silence sounds ominous

Some of these are very cute and funny, the Toronto Asteroids lmaoo

I’m never going to be able to not read Pissed Ons again.

Miami snow would be better and still geographically correct

Detroit rotaries

brapbrapbrapbrapbrapbrap

Toronto Mammals would also be not an absolute banger

Boston Anglo Saxons is fucking throwing me lmaooooo. Profoundly redundant

Ngl, some of these go hard. I appreciate the historical knowledge on the Cavs!

I don’t know if it’s the opposite but Toronto Asteroids really cracks me up.

(Clippers) Los Angeles Submarines

Miami Ice is definitely the name of a graphic with Miami Vice colors that they put on a broadcast when the Heat shoot ³⁄₂₅ from 3 in a game.

Couldn’t OKC also be OKC Lightning?

And LA LakERS would become Deserters, which would be perfect right now lol

The hero we need but don’t deserve

Well done. San Antonio should be the chanclas though not bare feet

ok, this is my favorite offseason silly post ever!

Phoenix Dark Matter

Brilliant. just want to see some opposite colorway combo jerseys for these. Is that something you can build into your site? I’ll bet a r/NFL version would dig this too

Sacramento Serfs is pretty fitting

Seattle Robotniks

Shouldn’t it be San Antonio Carrots?

Also why is the Pistons name just a pun lol.

Excellent list. Utah Adult Contemporary was right there.

Orlando Science

Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic though.

Pistoffs seems fitting.

Miami Ice actually goes kinda hard, ngl

Chicago bears? You put absolutely no thought in that. Opposite of a bull is a cow or arguably a calf? This post a dub

Chicago steers

Decent ig

Clippers should be Scissors

The pistons should be brakes.

The Detroit brakes.

lmao ngl entertaining read…somehow

Opposite of bulls and bucks are obviously heifers and does.

I love the offseason

Miami Ice goes hard

How is a bear the opposite of a bull? Should be Matadors or Cowboys or something

Denver what? ‘Splain pls…

Chicago Berries

I thought the opposite of heat is cold.