It’s a cultural thing too, what we might consider parasitic type stuff is expected / common in some groups / places.

Not that you don’t establish boundaries but some guys are up against a lot of pressure.  Possibly from a whole self reinforcing community / the only community they’ve ever known.

Personally I’d make my list, gifts, and make it clear that this is it.

I recall an NBA player describing his money manager putting the player and immediate family on an allowance.   Money manager told the player that if they ask for more send them to him and he will handle them / play the bad guy.    Seemed like a good guy.

Dude still bought house for mom and such but money manager handled house shopping even because mom didn’t want to leave the neighborhood and so on.

Grant Hill’s mom’s mom comes from a farming family in Arkansas and went to college at what is now the Pine Bluff campus. She finished school and worked as a dental hygienist. Later on, she married a dentist, whom partook in many early efforts to getting dental healthcare outreach going in the South. They started a dental supply company together and it didn’t close down until well after their collective retirements in 2006.

Grant Hill’s mom was Hillary Clinton’s room mate. Her career began as a Math teacher. Despite only having an undergrad, her obituary stated she taught calculus, linear algebra and topology in college. She then did military consulting for awhile, then migrated into business logistics, all before landing on the boards of some pretty big companies. Her corporate climb is nothing short of extraordinary.

Her background suggests she was or she was around the person whom other people would come to when they needed financial assistance. Those words of advice probably come from many a hard lesson.

I think there’s a way to do it that can avoid you having to be the one to say no, or them hating you as a result. Probably easier said than done though.

If you can create a fund that they can access that has a fixed amount of money in it, and make it clear that’s all that’s available, it might be able to work.

I am well off. Not NBA well off, but I earned over 400k a year at the peak of my career.

I take care of family and friends. But they think I’m their landlord, or their business partner.

My sister in law lives in a house I own, pays $400 a month in rent. She thinks I’m an asshole.

I would still try to help out the people who have helped me along the way. You just need to make sure that they know this is a one time gift and don’t expect it be a regular thing.

You need to stand your ground if they come back for more. If they get super upset then you don’t want those people in your life anyways.

Barkley is also 10 years older than Grant Hill so I doubt he got this advice at the right time lol

The modern NBA changed that. You had to be rich or upper middle class to be able to afford sending your kids to basketball camps, AAU, decent schools. There was less and less kids that come from nothing that make it into the NBA and more and more kids of former players. NIL is kind of changing that again. So basically if you are really good at basketball people will pay you millions to play HS and college ball.

The toughest part is you really want to do things for them and feel guilty when you don’t but the real connection is gone once money becomes the bridge. People won’t even call to check on you or your children but will blow you up looking for a handout.

I’m not shedding tears for the wealthy, but capitalism robs all of us of our full humanity, even rich people.

before we blame those without. let us all ask: does any human being need 1 trillion dollars?

or, if that singular 1 person had their shit redistributed, would i lose sleep?

hell nah

I mean with the money they’re making they can give someone $1M, get them a financial advisor and accountant and tell them if you fuck this up don’t come back to me for more

If you have money, it’s not just people who were in your life. Your family is suddenly huge. And you’re the wage earner.

From personal experience it usually is the people closest to you who expect a piece of the pie once you “make it” just because you grew up with them or because they did xyz for you and think it’s something they can hold over you for a lifetime. You lend them a few hundred then it turns to a few thousand and then when you put your foot down and say you can’t they flip the switch and it’s “you changed”.

I’ve thought a lot about hypothetically what I’d do if I won a bunch of money (even though I don’t play lotteries at all).

And essentially I’ve decided that for a few family members (all immediate) I’d give a one time gift predicated and clearly communicated that this is it for them, that I’m not investing in random business ideas, paying for trips, covering college for their kids, etc. and that they can choose to do whatever they want with the money, whether that be blow it all immediately or use it wisely by saving/investing.

Obviously I wouldn’t mind paying at a night out or something, but you do have to be clear about where you stand with people or there will be never ending requests. Like if my mom were to be like “don’t you think this extended family relative could use some help” I’d say “you’re welcome to give them some of yours”.

I do think I would end up helping in emergency situations but you really need to be clear so you don’t end up doing things for people forever.

Good policy.

“help me fund my new business venture/produce my first album” types get messy real fast.

If I had upwards of 8 figures, I’m absolutely paying for even my extended families education, that will always be worth it to me. I might not completely fund your lifestyle but I’ll help you be a lawyer or a therapist or whatever your passion is so you can get it on your own

Same with my mother’s cousin (not sure how you phrase that in the west) as well as his wife’s family.

I only met them in recent years. Incredible family. Obscene wealth, sure, but they are not gaudy with their money to the extreme. Even miser at times. They are all pretty careful of where money goes to in the family itself, and maybe an exceptional case of a close friend perhaps.

These athletes, basketball, football (Brazilians especially) lack any financial literacy and all round discipline. A lot of clinger ons. Leeches.

Are you american?

Man I see this type of “dont help your family, let them work for their own money” only in the US and some other parts of the West.

Money is just a tool to be able to lead a happy life. How can you be happy knowing that your family members might still struggle to think about h ow to afford a house, hwo to afford a vacation for their kids whehn you enjoy your mansion and maids etc.? If I get rich, and I mean really rich obviously you cant do this with an amount of money thats only enough for you, the first thing Im doing is making sure my family is taken care of. You can take care of them and still set boundaries. I would never be happy living in a multi million dollar mansion and knowing my sister has to work 8 hour shifts every day, come home late to then cook the whole evening for the whole family. Think about how they can afford pension and old age etc.

But yeah, of course this applies only to family you are actualyl close to and know. Not to a cousin you never saw in your life.

I would get like 10 PhD’s. Easy infinite money glitch

I mean depends on the family. I have dozens of cousins and some are shitbags.

Immediate family, sure… but fuck my cousins and all them. They’re all annoying 

I feel that but where does family end? Mom, dad, siblings, grandparents for sure. But what about uncles and aunties? First cousins? 2nd cousins once removed? Everyone you see say your family reunion you haven’t gone to since you were 12? How often can they ask? Are you buying houses? What if they quit their jobs?

What if your immediate family is like 30-40+ people tho? And extended “family” even more?? That’s more the point Sir Charles conveying

Some people have big families though, and greedy families. Also, “taking care of” can mean a lot of different things.

I know what I’d do for my family, but I also absolutely trust them to not abuse that privilege. My parents and my siblings would absolutely hate relying on me for anything, and they’d be too prideful to ask, which makes me feel very comfortable to provide things for them.

Not everyone has that luxury. Many people have families that will bleed you dry.

Chosen family >>>

You put a predetermined amount of money in a trust. Only the profit that trust makes is going to be your family’s bank and tell them that the only thank you that you require is for them to never ask for money again. If they take it back to the original starting amount, sorry but you’re shit out of luck until it makes money again. This is the only way I would do it for my family

Depends on the family

Facts bro, i’ma make sure my immediate family has a house and enough to retire. That can be easily done without blowing all your money. And its worth it for your blood.

yeah but what if family and you have different numbers attached to what “taking are” looks like. I have managed wealth for a long time and its normal for people to feel entitled to a chunk of family members wealth while the owner is living of dividends, not spending the wealth.

It’s ok to take care of family but you have to be mindful about how you do it. The best way imo would be to set up some sort of trust/investment where they can be given money off the interest. At least there you know that the money won’t run out. 

Taking care of your mom is one thing but taking care of your 5th cousin who you only met once a decade ago? I don’t know about that one.

Its easy to say. But who knows how people will be when a windfall of money comes your way. You want yo think the best of your family, but how many horror stories do we read about winning the lotto and the aftermath?

Grant Hill’s mom was on the Board of Director’s for Sprint, Wendy’s, and others. Momma may have been more successful than Dad.

Tyron Smith never went bankrupt. It never got to that point he did take control and was able to avoid further damage.

https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/page/hotread141125/dallas-cowboys-tyron-smith-gets-control-battling-family-money

Yeah this can best be understood as a rich mom trying to teach her son’s (formerly) poor friend a valuable lesson.

What is going on Baker? Haven’t heard this story.

To be fair, he was also getting something from them. You don’t get anything when you just give people money, except maybe a thanks.

only fans, not tik tok.

He was blowing money on what we’re essentially escorts. Different kinds of financial issue

Lol if it gets a few of these guys to stop being idiots, I’m all for it. 

I would be happy to advocate on your behalf if you’d like 

My wife has siblings with the same problem. They simply have no fucking shame. Would say they would pay us back, but then get mad if you brought it up. The nail in the coffin was when her sister asked for money right after she posted getting a massive tattoo.  Luckily we only lost a couple hundred in total. 

It’s really hard when someone seems down on their luck, and then you realize they have no desire to be independent. My wife and I lived on 40k a year for the both of us in the early 2010s, and it was tight but definitely manageable. I know her siblings make at least this much on their own, which more than covers inflation.  I don’t care how unfair life is, if you’re asking family for money and then buying dumb shit, fuck you. 

I would hope my friends would be happy with free tickets and nights out where I cover the tab.

Some equipment and jerseys and such too.

people grow up different

I would 10000000% help my friends before my blood relatives

Maybe it’s because he makes 100 times more money as a comment commentator than he did as a player

She graduated college with Hillary Clinton and was on the board of directors for Sprint and Wendy’s (among others lol). Grant was born into a pretty well off family I’d say.

She probably had personal experience with this long before her son was an NBA star

someone higher up the thread summed up his grandma’s and mom’s stories. that’s a book I’d read/movie I’d watch including the scene of her telling all these young NBA fools how to protect their money

? your franchise legend is the poster boy for getting duped by the financial advisor

I don’t disagree, but y’all talking like it’s easy

my mom would be whining as soon as I said, “Just call…”

“Can’t youuu do that? You know I don’t understand all that stuff”

This would fuck me up if I was rich. How do you know who actually wants a genuine relationship with you vs just wanting to take advantage of your money?

there are a lot of friends that come and go over the seasons of your life

and if you’re generationally rich, a lot fewer of them go

Or to help younger players what to look out for.

I know people get mad when players talk about their money not being endless cause they make so much. But there’s a reason athletes go broke. It’s important for them to let other young athletes that it’s not endless.

Yup because, “I mean it’s not like I asked for as much as ____, I just want this”.

Hill’s father was an NFL player. Probably more to do with that than Grant.