I never thought about this but you’re right

Leaders in follicles per 36

Damn not only do the advanced analytics hate Brown but so does the eye test

I won’t lie our average handsomeness has gone down quite a bit after losing oubre and PG. Has me concerned fr

Picturesque P

That fiber spray is quite possibly a locker room carcinogen

This is good analysis 

Pretty Privilege P

Sixers lost Oubre also. Team is really falling down the looks ladder this off-season 

Brad Stevens like “FINALLY someone gets it”

Legit reasons to trade

Paul George podcast clears Jaylen Brown twitch streams.

Paul George has extra hairline, maybe he could share some with brown?

This is quality analysis I can get behind 

Thanks u/jamal-murray

Finally a rational take.

Flat top Jaylen dunking is what made me fall in love with him

He also has 3 theme songs brown has none

Clavicular GM

Paul George reading this with a smile on his face

Paul George also has two first names, so the Celtics are basically getting two players for the price of one.

When he stained OG’s jersey, Brad started making calls to other GMs. Could also be all those pics of Brown at Diddy’s infamous parties.

This is next level analytics. You’re ahead of them all.

Derrick White leads the league in handsome plus/minus. Why would you even have to question them keeping him?

Pablo Torre needs to get on this ASAP

Producing a much more enjoyable podcast as well

I fucking love the off-season

Playoff P(perfect hairline) vs 2024 Finals MVP of Baldies

LeBron joining the Philadelphia hair transplants confirmed.

r/nbacirclejerk

Sixers FO after reading this.

Brown is actually quite handsome. Nonetheless this post is weird

ESPN should front this story!

I totally forgot about the spray on hairline 🤣 

Damn this is the cope I needed. Between PG and JT the Celtics might have the GOAT hairlineup

And they’re getting a Podcaster vs. a Twitch Streamer.

Brad Cooked.

This is the kind of hard-hitting analysis I come to r/nba for, thank you

Analytically he’s the 7th best looking guy on the team

Now this is just peak journalism

Get this guy on TV

So according to this analysis, my Warriors would lose by signing LeBald?

I feel like this isn’t true. When Brown’s spray on hair smears on the opponents it has to be distracting and throw them off. That’s more of an advantage

Paul Gorgeous and Jayson Baetum my two looksmaxxed goats

Rb_reigns lives!

Just here to say that I have always thought Paul George was strikingly handsome, even when my beloved Heaters were beefing with him during the Big 3 era.

Honestly why not offer Brown to the Rockets for KD?

HUGE IF TRUE.

PG also has the more popular podcast

666 baby.

Podcast P >>>>JB streams too

I know it’s a joke but even in that world the Celts would actually want a roster of ugly guys. Still looking for a new Larry Bird.

He’s hust speed running a lebron

I don’t know if you’re right but for sure you are not wrong.

Chad playoff P vs Virgin Jaylen brown

Can’t argue with this logic.

PG is the Lebron of good hairlines.

Celtics need to dump Derrick White then. He’s the ugliest in the league.

I know he makes more money than me in any single year that I can dream of making a life time and can get much more beautiful women then I can ever get, but mofo is ugly.

7th in Best. 1st in Ugly. That’s just analytics, folks!

I mean, this is true, it doesn’t matter, but it is true

This is the first explanation that actually makes any sense to me

The type of analysis you hear from Ronaldo fans

Baylor Scheirmen would have absolutely been added to the Giannis package this being the case.

😂😂😂 aesthetics matter, though!

Fuck outta here with good analysis, it’s offseason content time

Pretty P

Are you saying that Paul George mogged Jaylen Brown and the Celtics are looksmaxxing, so that’s why they did this?

It should be reiterated that Jaylen Brown’s “best year ever” started with him rubbing his fake hair over other players’ jerseys. Make of that what you will.

Also PG has generational follicle wealth if you’ve seen his father.

PG is kinda Handsome Squidward when you really look at him

Brown isn’t balding. He got a partnership with Nutrafol and if you look at any of his recent videos, his hair growth has actually improved.

Proceeding ass hairline

If you dont like this post, you dont like analytics

Cameron Boozer better start planning that Turkey trip in a few years.

Looks truly are in the eye of the ballholder

Nothing worse than a Carlos Boozer looking ass sprayed head with the wrinkles.

Can’t believe they couldn’t even get Oubre in the deal!

I found Bill Simmons burner account

He’s also a very successful podcaster

Username checks out…

Presentation!

Paul George been fine.

MITGeorge?