Bill Simmons was getting a colonoscopy when the Jaylen Brown trade was announced
Is this the greatest ‘where were you when that happened’ moment of all time? Is this a real-life representation of how all Celtics fans were feeling?
Did the doctors find the trade?
Yeah they did, cause it was ass
r/yourjokebutworse
r/yourjokebuttworse
This is frying me
See, now that’s actually funny
Thanks bird boy
That’s the joke he was making 🧠 💀
It’s funny because it was in his ass? Do you get it? I might need it further explained.
It’s called riffing and adding on, you people are dense
uncut gems type of cinematic
Bro really thought he had died when they told Him the trade lol
Would be an embarrassing way to go out
Bill Simmons hearing “Jaylen Brown traded” while legally unable to run from the news is peak Boston cinema.
He could have said he was inspired by Paul Pierce when he wheels himself to the podcast, sponsored by Cologuard
All fucked up from the anesthesia too
Seems appropriate, so was his beloved basketball team
Looked after their long time health?
Hopefully no polyps were found
Ah yes Paul George who will be in the league for a long time lol
That’s the most charitable interpretation
Or …afterward we heard a bunch of shit came out of them
Hilarious if true, the embodiment of what the 6ers did to the Celtics there too
Like the Celtics were worried about a lockeroom cancer so they got the 76ers to take the Brown…
Analytically the sixers got worse
It is. He oddly announced his plans a few days ago in terms of pod schedule
What a coincidence, Brad Stevens had something up his ass too.
It’s out now for everyone to witness (except in Instagram)
Damn, late day colonoscopy. That’s rough.
Right? Who schedules a colonoscopy for late afternoon?
The office scheduler.
Once did my fasted bloodwork at 2pm. It was rough
I have a note on my medical chart that I’m “prone to fainting after having blood drawn” because I once made the mistake of scheduling a fasting blood draw at like 11:30am and stood up too quickly after they were done, got dizzy, and slumped hard back into the chair.
I’ve never even been lightheaded after any other time, but now I get all this extra hullabaloo whenever I have to get routine bloodwork
That’s brutal. I don’t eat breakfast so it would be too bad but anyone who does would be struggling.
Bill - ‘if the Celtics were a colon then Brad Stevens is a polyp’
Who the hell gets a colonoscopy at 6:13 pm?
He lives in LA iirc so it would have been 3:13
That is still really late in the day to be getting a colonoscopy.
I’m on the east coast and got the news around 6, which means it would’ve been 3 in CA
Someone with a Groupon for it
He was supposed to have it last week but he screwed up the prep (classic) and yesterday at 3pm was the next available spot they had
During F5 season
During one of the busiest news times for the NBA, which is probably the biggest part of his job.
On Day 2 of free agency when you are a famous podcaster?
Bill getting the news as he’s about to go under is like the ending of Alien: Covenant
So he was violated twice.
apology for poor Bostonian
when were you when Jaylen brown dies?
i was getting camera up my dookie hole at Dunkin donuts when doctor woke me up and told me
‘jaylen brown is kill’
‘no’
and you???????????
‘Jaylen Brown is Paul George’ ‘No’
I’d have rather gotten a colonoscopy every week until Jaylen’s contract expired than trade him
You can still do the repeating colonoscopies if you want. Don’t let the trade stop you from doing what you love.
I think it’s great that Bill publicly mentioned getting one.
celtics and simmons woke up with a sore butt
if the sixers took a much deeper look into an asshole, they might have passed on trading for brown.
Gotta be the worst news to hear after someone’s just put a finger/camera up your butthole
Colonoscopy is a camera up the ass. Prostate exam is a finger in the bum.
I will edit camera in my comment, i am unfamiliar, and gladly so, of any procedures in that area lmao
understandable lol
This is the Charlotte fan from the play-in part two!
He got a colonoscopy twice in one day. Impressive.
How did this leak lol
he said it on his pod
[deleted]
Simmons’ colon
You win.
That’s cool I was at work and depending on the exact timing, I may have also been taking a shit while getting paid for
You shouldn’t shit at work. That’s time theft
NARC
Funnily enough, so was Brad Stevens by the Sixers
This is the Celtics version of when Mookie Betts was traded to the Dodgers
I’m happy hes gone. the return is bad but they needed to get off that contract. brown is gonna implode in Philly. thinks boston media is tough, his emotional frailty will be on full display
Good timing, his ass was going to be sore anyways
Poetic
The Celtics weren’t the only ones with a hand up their ass
Apt metaphor
I didn’t ask
Fun excuse but he got it last Thursday, he announced it on his podcast about the draft
The trade was straight out of The League. Dr Andre getting Kevin stoned and making him trade
Colonoscopies are super underrated
The jokes write themselves.
Did they see his head up there? Nah, Bills alright. Just couldn’t let that one float over the plate.
Jaylen ‘The Polyp’ Brown
Including Celtics fans
“Love the pod”
He claimed getting SHAMMED felt worse than getting RAMMED
Hornets Colonoscopy Guy: “Been there, man.”
U just know Simmons felt a disturbance under anesthesia and they had to push more propofol
That colonoscopy wasn’t even the 7th best colonoscopy in that doctor’s day
Ain’t that some shit
Bill’s colon, whatevuh happened there
Getting one because Brad Stevens shoved a massive lobster up his ass beforehand
Okay how bad are colonoscopies actually? Worse than enemas?
They actual colonoscopy isn’t bad because you’re asleep, but the prep the night before is awful because you’re shitting your brains out for 5+ hours
The doctors probably found Nico and Brad in there somehow
when is this shit on Spotify
Ahhh actually I’m okay with the trade. A gamble but I can see the rationale behind it.
I mean it happened around 3 on the west coast