The only way I would tolerate the Aspiration scandal ending
Tuesday night, NBA Draft. Adam Silver steps over a sobbing, be-jazzed Darryn Peterson and approaches the podium, card in hand.
“With the fifth pick in the 2026 NBA Draft, the Los Angeles Clippers would have selected…”
Army of lawyers runs out, start doing intricate choreography. Draft board graphic turns into title card 1 of a 45 strong Google Slides deck (can’t do PowerPoint for obvious reasons). Puts the hammer down, off to commercial break.
This will not happen.