we are deep into the offseason

The Nerlens Noel strategy

I feel like this could actually work though

Literally sickening how obsessed these athletes are with their looks instead of being better ballers. Kobe would’ve grown a 5 foot flattop if he could, and we all know it. League is unwatchable now.

Nickelodeon would try to sue.

We in the off-season baby

Only if he’s best friends with a short kid with a football shaped head

Why a flat top and not a Big Ben style Afro? How do you even see the hoop if his hair blocks your view?Does the flattop just seem to fit his slender build more?!    Castle get a foul call when someone grabbed/hand stuck in his hair on a 3 point attempt so maybe this helps get a few calls too! 

Maybe have Mugsy Bogues hide in his hair and block shots from the bush.

Premium off-season content. 

Ahaha this is genius

The funny thing about this is…if Wemby legitimately did this the league would have to address it. They would have to make a new rule limiting hair dimensions.

I’m imagining him waving his head around like a third arm. It would be devastating.

With Castle’s hair Wemby would be unstoppable

Post has me wanting to watch House Party for some Kid n Play.

Margebanyama

even just a jarrett allen afro would do the trick. i was so surprised when i found out he was only 6’9”. that afro has him lookin like a 7-footer out there.

It would be goal tending is the real reason. Don’t listen to these people doubting your creativity.

I mean castle is already doing this

This shit makes House Party look like House Party 2!

Unironically, not a bad take. If he can get just 4-8 inches of height with hair (think castle’s hair mop) he might psychologically be more intimidating

What if this idea catches on and there’s an arms race where all the NBA players try to grow the hugest hairstyles possible for the sole purpose of obstructing the view of the shooter?

Guys be sporting Afros that could block out the sun

Gon Freaky

All jokes aside, the debatable fouls on Castle really made me question if the league needs to implement hair restrictions. The commentators were asking legitimate questions like “is hair part of the head?” lol.

Alternatively he could wear 3 foot tall platform shoes

Stop kidding and just play.

I agree, there is no downside to this. Only upside

Just grow a fro. How do you think Ben Wallace got all those rebounds?

He’s balding.

Only for KAT to counter with a 4 foot flat top 😂

Like his fellow frenchie. jean pierre polnareff

Only downside is he would be less aerodynamic when running the court, but that could easily be solved by doing a Naruto run with his head tilted down. 

Yes this is the delicious offseason shitposting I need.

Wemby needs to work with Shump in the offseason

Wemby with Lonnie Walker’s hair might actually be by technicality, 8 feet

If Brunson touching Castles hair is a foul then Wembys hair would be a goal tend. Otherwise I think it works.

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Imagine all the fouls he’ll get when someone touches his hair

And this postseason we established its possible to foul someone’s hair, so definitely make it as big as possible.

Marge Simpson defensive capabilities

If he grows a groove in the top of his high top can he put the ball there and just walk the ball down the court and tip his head to get 2 points?

My friends and I were seriously discussing this. It came up because of Jarrett Allen’s afro. We said he should grow it higher like Gerald from Hey Arnold and then just jump straight up in front of people.

Why doesnt most of the other players in NBA grow a 4 foot flat top and do tne same thing?

NBA players are such liars, they say theyd do anything to win, but they dont do this.

He can hide the weapons he uses to steal candy from children there, and he can also hide the candy, he’s such a supervillain, and performative, right?

Kid n Play Wemby. Could star in some movies, put out an album.

He already struggles with conditioning and you want to further increase his wind resistance running up and down the court?

It hasn’t even been a week yet. This is gunna be a long off season

If he can’t grow it in time for the season, what’s the rules say about hair implants?

The monks will have to make a hair exception

Asking the real question.

And some people called me crazy when I suggested that Wemby should develop a hook shot like KAJ. The fucker would be unstoppable.  At least that was a basketball perspective.

Also the comment was not done in the offseason.

As an added bonus every shot that grazes his hair will be an offensive foul on the other team!

Waiting on the post asking why Currys team doesnt join hands circling around him creating space where he can shoot with minimal distraction every time OR…. Why doesnt a team work on a play where a teammate jumps on the shoulders of its strongest player and  than jump off to catch a lob that is impossible to defend.  

I really like this idea. Would be hilarious.

Outjerked on main.

Artis Gilmore had a huge fro and he was taller than Kareem. I think you overestimate the effect of the hair although three feet even on a six footer would be distracting

I’ve seen him miss with one hand then get the block with the second hand. You mix in a flaptop…nothing is going in near the rim lol.

So copy Castle?

Make Castle and Vassel give their hair to Wemby. Flatop is too weak man.

Basket interference would be an issue

This why some guys that ball grow crazy ass nails and claw your ass during games

This is actually brilliant.

Because he is unserious about winning.

I was skeptical but the picture sold me.

Wind resistance

Shit would be like a sail on him.

And we also found out during the finals series that the hair is part of the head so he can have an easier time securing fouls

He would fall over. Too top heavy.

Vassell got fouled on his hair too so it would help Wemby get to the line more

Might be the funniest sports take I ever read

Birdman and his big ass mohawk was nearly Wemby’s height.

Spurs have had enough of hair guys

Gerald from Hey Arnold lookin ass

Wendy with the Kid from Kid n Play haircut is gold

Would the hair count towards goaltending calls depending on arc of ball, etc.? He’d have to ensure the hair wasn’t touching the rim at all, yeah?

Now these are the questions we should be asking.

About time we had an in depth, realistic discussion in here.

The “Enfant et Jouer” strategy

It is day 3 of the off season and it’s all down hill from here

I’d pay money to see Wemby rock a Jheri curl

MOD DELETE THIS BOLLOCKS

He just needs Castles barber

Too limited, linear i dare say..

Make it a full fro and block the entire airspace.

https://br.pinterest.com/pin/318559373648203985/

Why does Wemby, the tallest player, not simply eat the others?

Finally some quality off season content

Imagine having to sleep with that on your head.

This would put his hair over the cylinder, what if the Spurs just set the ball on his hair and he ran it into the hoop

Why not wemby simply spinning elbow KO every opponent?

This got me thinking… has anyone ever actually blocked or deflected a shot with their hair?