Well you see, when you are simmering, the best place to target that is in the knees. GOATs like LeBron know this.

“The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage thicket. “Vámonos, amigos,” he whispered, and threw the busted leather flintcraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight.”

That’s a great sentence. I’m 55; one of my favorite things to read as a teen was old Sports Illustrated, back when the sports writing was incredible. We don’t get this often anymore.

Note to kids: do not simmer ice bags at home!

LeBorne back ceaselessly into the past

He was probably hotter than a simmer, with the ice constantly cooling the internal combustion. And then that ice being able to stay ice, despite this constant heat source?

Laws of science, tossed to the wind.

LeLoneRider

Before reaching the final ring, however, he had already understood that he would never leave that room, for it was foreseen that the city of Los Angeles would be wiped out by the wind and exiled from the memory of men at the precise moment when Lebron would finish deciphering the coverages, and that everything written on them was unrepeatable since time immemorial and forever more, because franchises condemned to one hundred years of solitude did not have a second opportunity on earth.

LeBron rode out along the fenceline and across the open pastureland. The leather creaked in the morning cold. He pushed the horses into a lope. The lights fell away behind him. He rode out on the high prairie where he slowed the horses to a walk and the stars swarmed around him out of the blackness. He heard somewhere in that tenantless night a bell that tolled and ceased where no bell was and he rode out on the round dais of the earth which alone was dark and no light to it and which carried his figure and bore him up into the swarming stars so that he rode not under but among them and he rode at once jaunty and circumspect, like a thief newly loosed in that dark electric, like an old thief in a glowing orchard, loosely jacketed against the cold and ten thousand worlds for the choosing.

And they are hooping, the board floor slamming under the Jordans and the centers grinning hideously over their canted jerseys. Towering over them all is Lebron and he is naked hooping, his small feet lively and quick and now in doubletime and bowing to the ladies, huge and pale and hairless, like an enormous infant. He never sleeps, he says. He says he’ll never die. He bows to the centers and sashays backwards and throws back his head and laughs deep in his throat and he is a great favorite, Lebron. He makes a shot and the lunar dome of his skull passes palely under the lamps and he swings about and takes possession of one of the rebounds and he pirouettes and makes a pass, two passes, dancing and alley-ooping at once. His feet are light and nimble. He never sleeps. He says that he will never die. He hoops in light and in shadow and he is a great favorite. He never sleeps, Lebron. He is hooping, hooping. He says that he will never die.

LeBron, his head bowed. The King, at the Forum of Crypto.

Doncic, his glass shattered. The Purple and Gold, their banners torn.

LeBron, when the Lakers fell.

R/UnexpectedGatsby

Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around—nobody big, I mean—except Lebron.

And Dave McMenamin too

Fr don’t make fun of this it’s a million times better than the ad and AI riddled shit we usually get

[Story]board man gets paid

Not as bad as “somebody stole his underwear” but still reads like pasta 😭

I thought he wrote whatever lebron wanted 

He’s basically LeBron’s PR guy. He doesn’t even hide it. Just another brick in the shit show wall that is ESPN.

Did he write the Space Jam 2 script

I’m confused by this write-up. This is satire, right?

Kids today can’t even read non AI sloptext anymore.

This is advanced literature for most of this sub

It’s like they started off trying to make a click bait story then got too into it and it evolved to a fan fic. 😂

I mean I write 1000 words of fanfic a day and yeah, I can see the resemblance.

This is going in the exhibit section for my case for why Lebron fans are actually in a cult.

Lakers meeting with Lebron was “intense” and “at one point Jeanie Buss was crying” but everyone grew closer and a big lesson was learned

if you anonymously dropped this on X or on here as a post people would absolutely believe it btw

Malika needs to stop buying McMenamin so much of this Twilight grade fanfic shit. No matter how much he likes it.

He’s the most humble player of all time!

As a Laker fan, it was impressive seeing LeBron drop back to the third option. We’ve seen so many older stars that refused to lower their roles for team success.

Im gonna be happy when rich paul no longer has his hands in the NBA. Might take a few more decades.

The same LeBron who may retire quietly into the night, without a farewell tour? Couldn’t be.

LeNoir

He drove around LA desperately trying to get Steve Balmer’s address

Some say he can still be seen on cloudy night in LA simmering between streets in his jersey and shorts like a phantom of the night

With ice bags and sandals

Yeah c’mon ESPN writer guy, give a girl some ornate prose about how he changed out of his uniform, sweat glistening off his toned muscles under the flourescent locker room lights. SMH.

Yes

Yes, because Rich/Lebron’s aim in this article is to paint a narrative of how humble Lebron was in sacrificing, and how he isn’t being adequately honored by the organization. To many of us it reads petty, but that’s obviously not how Rich/Lebron are trying to frame it.

Yes. The guy who “practically broke his hand” doesn’t really have shame.

The mastermind behind The Decision? Yeah, I think he would

Yes, because he doesn’t think that it does.

Seem petty? Lebron is notoriously petty and has an article like this every year

Who hasn’t simmered off indignantly before tbf

I’m not sure if what I’m going to miss more when LeBron retires: his breathtaking athleticism in his younger years, his cerebral mastery in his silver years, his unparalleled longevity which has continued to defy Father Time, or the timeless memes inspired by ESPN shitposts which are going to be celebrated by generations of NBA nephews the way we read classic longform articles from the SI Vault before sports journalism went to shit.

He’s so good

“Oh LeBron, please hit me with a LeFuckYou Three after dunking all over my face and giving me a facial!”

Do You Hear LePeople Sing?

Should’ve just taken a knife to the ball and cut it in half right then and there. That way everyone is happy.

Right? It’s a once in a lifetime achievement, nobody is every breaking that record. The majority of the coaches in the NBA has 100 wins or will get to it eventually.

Article is obv pushing an agenda, but let’s not pretend that wasn’t a calculated move from the Lakers. If Doncic and Reaves were hurt a game earlier, that ball goes to Lebron.

Pretending like Dave isn’t LeBron’s mouthpiece is something

Dave McMenamin has been a LeBron mouthpiece for years. He 100% got this from the LeBron camp, if not LeBron himself.

Reports are they may simmer off into the night even.

The evidence is this article. Which is transparently planted by LeBron and his team.

Uhh… Bron has been trying to get off 1st option for A LONG time. He practically begged AD to take the top dog role and run with it.

Why would Bron suddenly be mad about it?

Bro.. before you go making shit up, apply some logic. If not, understand that all of us have been watching the same interviews… some of us for decades.

lmao even?

“I just think it’s funny that…”

LeAspiration