Embiid explains he went to the hospital because he couldn’t poop
We can laugh at this, but bowel obstruction is no joke. People have died from it.
Trust the peristalsis
Trust the Poop-cess
That first post surgery poop is a always battle
Get yourself a bidet people
If your bidet is helping here, your pressure might be a little high…
i just mean it helps post surgery in terms of cleaning
It’s important to power wash your colon
How is a bidet supposed to help?
u/Sp_Gamer_Live cranks that pressure from bidet to enema mode
Like Brian O’Connor hitting the NOS in The Fast and the Furious
Post surgery lifesaver, just easier
easier cleanup post-surgery probably. i got mine for that reason after my surgery because it was a bitch to move
Idk. Probably the stimulation
Lol what. There’s no way spraying your ass with water helps you poop
Look up what an enema is
Or in other words…“CLEVELAND (clinic), this is for you!”
Brother. What do you think a bidet does?
You seen some of these bidets, they got some pressure washer type strength, could rend a piece of concrete to atoms now imagine that sort of raw unfiltered power on an innocent butthole.
1000%
There was an instance where I went to drop a deuce and flipped the bidet on. Whoever used it before me (either my wife or brother) had that dial set on maximum. When I flipped the on switch, I swear that water penetrated my butthole and assaulted me.
I didn’t use the bidet for a week after that lol.
Bidet can also help stimulate it if the water gets angled in a certain way and it gets absorbed slightly but the bottom end of your colon stimulating a micro enema
Bidet is the GOAT. No more hemorrhoids or anal fissures. No more conspitation. Also your butt feels clean for the first time ever. My best friend came up a good analogy with toilet paper vs bidet. Imagine if your whole body got covered in mud and instead of a shower all you had was paper towels lol
Bidet is such a game changer. I hate using public toilet now because they dont have them so I still feel dirty afterwards
…yeah, and also move to a walkable city. Bidet and walkable city. Those should help pooping.
Man no joke I almost died as a 13 yr old kid that shit almost ruptured inside of me luckily I made it in time to hospital 🏥
Yup. Mine did rupture. Only went to the hospital because I could go the bathroom. Legit almost died from sepsis. Shits no joke.
That’s why I never laughed at Paul Pierce when they wheeled him to the locker room. He was fighting for his life out there.
Laughing at any athlete is always low class. I’m a Dodgers fan, and as much as I dislike George Springer, seeing him in serious pain last year’s playoff run didn’t bring me any joy.
No, I will always and forever laugh at CP3 getting his ankles broken and bowing down to PG. There are many situations in which it’s okay to laugh at an athlete. These guys are multimillionaire public figures, they can handle it. Just don’t laugh at injuries, everything else is fair game.
Hopefully that guy went through with his colonoscopy instead of watching the Hornets
Yep, lots of people deal with this issue from certain medications
They were talking about this on Gil’s arena and how some of them stopped taking certain pain meds or other things because of constipation issues
They’d rather deal with the pain
I couldn’t poop for 5 days in Thailand and it was mildly terrifying
Joel’s poops must be so big.
at least 2 or 3 Courics i’m sure
Yall think NBA players got special toilets?
Extra long, extra wide lol
Shaq don’t even use toilets
Teammates shoes don’t count?
Or just do what Shaq did and collect your shit in a bucket
Shaq salivating at the idea of dumping those poops on a rookie
I haven’t seen a 7 footer’s poop but I remember seeing elephant’s poops when I was a kid. Their poops are so fuckin big like bowling balls.
The Chainsawman ending got stuck in his bowels
Never thought about it before but you’re probably right. Guys lime him and Shaq probably shit out absolute units.
This is how Elvis Presley died.
Saying Elvis died of not being able to poop is like saying JFK died of blood loss, technically you are correct
Technically everyone who has ever died was the result of them just stopping living.
lmao
Everybody dies of cardiac arrest
Elvis died by his body stopping.
This happened to my friend because he eats like absolute shit
But…if he eats shit…shouldn’t he be able to shit? 💩
Guess he shits burgers
True story: this was my experience with appendicitis (pre-obamacare). Went it the hospital because I was in such distress, only able to poop black tarry turds. CT scan and everything, determined I had appendicitis. As they were prepping me for surgery I told them I didn’t have health insurance. Entire room goes silent, they look at each other, and the doctor says “maybe it’s viral?” I’m discharged and told to come back if it doesn’t get better.
Ended up totally fine, experience still cost me $13,000 .
And then the doctors reminded you you’re in Canada, a civilized nation where you don’t need to worry about health insurance. Then everyone laughed and high-fived, because what kind of backwards ass country wouldn’t provide for their citizens?
Nope they fined me because I didn’t speak French
Thanks Obama
Ahem…
Merci, Obama
Nope his guts would have exploded after waiting 16 hours in emergency.
But it would be free.
did they give you antibiotics instead of going through with the appendectomy?
I feel like this story is baloney. No surgeon in their right man would stop a surgery if someone has appendicitis.
That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. Unless a capacity consult was called, there’s no way this story is real
Very likely OP wasnt being prepped for surgery. Probably just in the ER and the general surgery docs were consulted and surgery was mentioned. Patients very frequently dont really know what’s going on in these situations.
You’d think but apparently doctors at University of Washington Medical Center felt different
Nope!
$13,000 is wild lmao, but also unfortunately not too surprising…. makes me feel even more grateful I moved to a country with cheap/universal healthcare.
I had about a years worth of imaging/tests done in the US for a related issue prior to moving, and actually, the total was gonna be around the same price if I hadn’t had insurance. Ultimately had the same result as you. Doctor was about 50% sure what it was, but it went away on its own after I had moved countries.
This is what some people have not yet had to live through if we lose it again.
When did this happen? Black tarry turds usually mean bleeding from your upper GI tract.
What a fucking joke of a country. Sorry that happened
I’ve been there. Didn’t go to the hospital but I was close honestly. I was constipated so bad, I felt like I had to take a monster shit but I couldn’t get anything out. And it was at night too so I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t do anything because the only thing I could think about was shitting. God that was a rough night.
how did you get out of the situation.
I feel like I must know, before it ever happens to me lol.
Chopsticks
probably shat
Should’ve put on Glory by Lil Wayne
DNP - Did not poop
I can’t pee because of my lower back pain. Appendicitis will not let you poop.
Paul Pierce wheeled so Joel could walk
gut troubles ain’t no fun ever
He also said he had complications from the surgery but didn’t specify
No poop = No hoop
2 liters of water a day minimum brother
Otherwise a nice pint of cold brew will do the trick
I honestly do not know what is AI and what is real anymore
This is Joel Embiid
There have been tons of well-known 76ers since AI retired. Get with the times man
Use Wikipedia for help with the former.
Between this and someone stealing Jokic’s underwear, this is a wild playoffs so far,
First ever post I read on Reddit was the kid who fixed his constipation with a melon baller then watched his mom use said melon baller to serve fruit to her friends (he washed it of course).
Constipation is a real issue
how does a melon baller help? literally scooped the shit out?
i really dont know what to think anymore when it comes to joel, dude used to be great… what the heck happened? are we forreal? i still rooting for you man
Become a coffee drinker and you have no worries not pooping
poo-el em-peed
Embiid inventing new ways to die
Dude needs more water and fiber
He needs more metamucil
Embiid had Jokic’s underwear
Reminds me of when I went to the hospital because I couldn’t pee. Not sure which would be worse to be honest lol. But not being able to pee for ~18 hours definitely fucking sucked. For me it was due to post-operative urinary retention from all the fentanyl they pumped in my body during my hernia surgery
Bro needs a squatty potty
2% of eunuchs used to die from obstructed urethras following the castration procedure.
It’s not funny having poops embiided in your colon.
Paul Pierce would like a word…
Had same experience with but after my appendectomy cause of stupid pain meds. Can’t stand pain meds from then on. Numbing the colon is a nightmare when you finally get off the meds. Appendicitis was extremely painful for me.
This guy always gets I’ll during this time is the year / season.
Trust the colonoscopy
You guys eat entirely too little fiber.
milk of magnesia, prune juice and butter and your ass will go nuclear.
Ewww TMI
You know why… He is full of 💩
Embiids always come off just like a weird mfer man.