Joe Mazzulla on when Tatum can return: “I failed medical school”
His ability to hold a straight face and not crack a smile is amazing
I guess he’s just saying what came into his mind.
You can tell that he spent the whole question workshopping this one.
How can I become like this? Just blurt out whatever lol
Give 0 fucks. You’re giving away your fucks when you should be keeping your fucks.
Fuck…
Keep that fuck inside of you, boy!
I’m trying to learn how not to
Unsettling. I’m convinced it’s real lmao. Dude definitely strangles drifters.
EDIT: oh goddamn it this makes it not fun anymore https://www.thedaonline.com/wvu-point-guard-arrested-suspended/article_5b6ae2c8-21fa-5ca2-a61e-a53809fe819b.html
FYI putting your hands around a woman’s neck is the STRONGEST predictor of things escalating to murder. You’re like 700% more likely to actually kill someone.
https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/strangulation-is-the-highest-predictor-of-murder#
But only after he gives them the chance to escape or defend themselves first
It’s all practice
Does he have an island? We know this mfer is playing the most dangerous game.
Funny you mention that
Now, even though they had never met in person, Waitzkin urged Mazzulla to visit his home tucked away in a Costa Rican jungle, where they would tear Mazzulla down in order to build him back up.
He wanted Mazzulla to walk barefoot on mountains amid dangerous wildlife. He wanted Mazzulla to be tossed around by the Pacific Ocean.
Oh they DEFINITELY hunted people
Joe would be the one to toss them a knife and tell them to pick it up
Women at bars in 2009, actually
Wait you got a source? My googling only brought back memes.
https://www.thedaonline.com/wvu-point-guard-arrested-suspended/article_5b6ae2c8-21fa-5ca2-a61e-a53809fe819b.html
Okay THAT’S fucked up. Putting your hands on a woman’s throat makes you something like 750% more likely to actually kill them. It’s a crazy strong predictor. Thank you for sharing.
You’re the second person to say that in this threat. 700% more likely than what? Because my baseline is being 0% likely to kill somebody, so I’m having a hard time figuring out what 700% more than that is.
I edited my OP with a link that breaks it down.
Because my baseline is being 0% likely to kill somebody
how does that make any sense? if that was true murder would be incredibly uncommon, but we know its not.
wut?
If I choked a kid out in kindergarten am I in danger of this stat?
You’re hilarious
Were you 21 at the time like Joe? Sounds like you were held back enough
Only depends on if you were also in kindergarten at the time
Where in that article does it say anything about strangling?
Near the beginning?
Joe Mazulla is a domestic abuser?? Wtf why am I surprised but also not surprised
Was an abuser 16 years ago. We don’t know if he’s currently abusing anybody domestically.
I don’t think that’s a label you can just shed…
I mean, if he hasnt offended again, and it only happened during that relationship.
At what point can you shed the label?
Frankly, I dont think you ever can. But, it is a label. Used to give useful information to people. If someone is going to be with him, then they deserve to know that he has crossed that line in the past and physically laid hands on someone. They are putting their lives in potential risk without that prior knowledge. They can then do what they want with that information. Just like a sexual predator gets a label no matter how long ago the act occurred. You can do what you like with it.
We know conclusively through studies that those that abuse once are more likely to abuse again compared to someone who has never committed such an act. So, yes, I think it is relevant, important, and obligatory for such labels to persist.
He can’t shed the label of a one time abuser as a college kid
True, I got this with Jason Kidd. He just feels off.
yeah now he goes international to abuse
(sorry…)
Man its a shame how unsettled people get about a natural poker face.
Brother, there is nothing natural about those crazy eyes lmao.
There is deadpan humor, and than there is “this”. Like what he said was hilarious but it’s like he does not understand why. And from what I am reading in this thread now… damn.
What a scumbag, I really enjoyed his quirky press conferences but not anymore. Fuck him
There’s a character, rich guy, in the show Mr. Robot that beats up homeless people.
Similar energy.
Bruh came with receipts on Stranglin Joe.
as an autistic guy whos been around other autistic people
my radar is going off
He even has a special interest (The Town)
My autistic teenage son is hilarious and recently realized that deadpan is the way to go. And he says its easy for him because it’s all the “appropriate” facial expressions that take work. He doesn’t have to work as much for deadpan.
Example: we talk about an important life lesson, and he repeats it back in Silksong terms. I try to go with it because that’s his interest right now, and then he breaks character and says he’s just messing with me.
Example: we talk about an important life lesson, and he repeats it back in Silksong terms
This is lowkey awesome
It really is for me as a dad. Imagine how many adult tasks can be recast as courier’s rasher quests
Wow! That kid is going places! Maybe they bathroom, maybe the kitchen. Definitely places.
I don’t think he’s ever joking when he says shit like this
Why would he not have a straight face?
Bc it’s a ridiculous thing to say in response to that question and is funny?
Shit… he failed clown school as well.
He’s most likely on the spectrum and isn’t joking.
Y’all are crazy lol he doesn’t engage with these types of questions, celtics FO has made it obvious they like to keep their cards close to their chest and this is Joe’s way of shutting the question down with a dry joke.
Agree
The question being asked by the context is “As head coach who interacts with the training staff who we dont get the same access to as sports journalist and is a stakeholder in the decisions for Tatums report when is the approximate timeline for the return of Tatum to the court?”
his answer is basically “I am not a doctor”.
We really need to get him co-starring in Naked Gun 5
That takes years of straight-manning to accomplish
He hasn’t smiled since ‘nam.
The way he doesnt even like to smile? WACK
The way he looks at the person who laughs with this expression of “what is so funny? It was a very traumatic time for me and my entire family”
It’s because he’s dead serious
He just has a Belichickian disdain for the media
There’s definitely the hint of a smile when he makes eye contact with the camera.
If he dies he dies.
And your not invited to my funeral
Everyday I wake up as a certified Boston hater not thinking I could like Mazzulla anymore. And everyday he proves me wrong.
Word im from New York 🤦🏾♂️
I spit my drink everywhere, I wish I had an award for you
It’s a good thing psychopaths like Mazzulla and Tom Brady got into sports because I’m sure they woulda been the most prolific serial killers if they didn’t
How do you know they’re not? They could just be the double goat in different professions.
A man’s allowed to have hobbies outside of work
These types of people are too ambitious to be equally invested in hobbies. They find professional success and legacy to be more satisfying.
Nice try, Joe
Mazzulla is far too suspicious to actually be a serial killer.
Brady could be Dexter for all anybody knows and we’d all be none the wiser because he’s never made a mistake covering his tracks.
He sure knew about throwing his phone with evidence into the ocean at a certain time. Where did Dexter dump his bodies???
To this day we all think Aaron Hernandez committed suicide in prison…
“It’s my job to go out there and do the best job I can do and eliminate distractions,” Brady said.
Mazula has had run ins with the law on both domestic violence and fighting cops, so the profile would probably fit
Aaron Hernandez my goat
Nah, he was too sloppy with his murder.
MJ would either be North Carolinas most infamous serial killer or he would’ve been shot by the mob for being thousands of dollars in gambling debt, nothing in between
Normally when quotes like this are posted they pull the headline out of a longer answer, and it makes more sense in context.
Only Mazzulla would just say one wild sentence and sit there in silence waiting for the next question lmfao
The first time I ever heard of Mazzulla it was for choking a girl at a bar in west virginia
Except Tommy has the rings, charisma, and looks to back it up.
As is, Brady is apparently still a dog kicker
And Joe is a woman beater.
Definitely gives me Popovich vibes with less social skills.
Makes me appreciate how Pop could be a dead pan asshole but immediately flip the switch to the warm, charismatic people leader.
Mazzulla is basically Pop but all gas no brakes lol
Brakes
Lol whoops good call. Words are hard sometimes
Joe Mazzula is easily my second favorite coach after Pop. He’s on a GOAT coach career trajectory, too. Makes me feel blessed to have the Celtics as my #2 team.
Where is phil jackson on your ranking?? Genuinely curious.
I don’t really have a ranking. Just my favorite coach of all time and my second favorite coach of all time. I’ve always been a team fan more than a basketball fan, last year’s finals was the first time I ever willingly watched an NBA game that wasn’t Spurs or Celtics. All I know is that Pop is the best, Timmy is goated, Tatum underrated, and all my hot takes on other players are based on how they played in their games against my teams.
you are depriving yourself of some fantastic basketball by not looking out for marquee matchups to watch over the years
That’s fine. This past finals series was incredible basketball but to me, it was about as exciting as the Spurs-Jazz game yesterday. I just can’t get into it unless it’s my team.
And somehow he still manages to be an incredible people leader behind closed doors
That’s true, it’s interesting to compare what kind of moments require different kinds of leadership.
Managing the egos of the top athletes in the world requires an entirely different style than being a leader for the general public.
Someone like Pop could wear both hats, but maybe that just came with age and wisdom. I am ready for 70 year old Mazzulla to be spittin game at the media
Honestly I don’t even know if Pop could do what Joe is doing right now. He lost his franchise player, two other starters, and his entire rotation of centers, and his team is second in their conference. He’s missing four of his biggest defensive pieces from last season and he has the 2nd best defense in the league. Idk if he sold his soul to the devil or if it’s just some kind of psychopath special ability.
Yeah I get ya, I wasn’t really trying to compare their results from an Xs and Os standpoint, just commenting on the leadership styles in different contexts.
Joe is a mastermind, no doubt about that. Pop was always a little slow and old school to adapt, a very much “my way or the highway” approach. They are successful for different reasons.
And yet, Pop (and Timmy) managed not only to win chips in three very distinct eras, but even were hugely influential in ushering in the mid to late 2010’s style of pace-and-space, high-movement, fluid offense. There’s no word for that kind of career besides greatness. (Okay maybe not literally, but that’s what comes to mind.)
He got the players to understand that if they do what he wants them to they’ll grow and develop
He’s not mean tho, just thinks in a very out-of-the-box way. And then he’s honest with it. I’m barely honest with two of my friends with how I think and they take turns being sick and tired of me “trying too hard to be different”. It takes plenty of courage to be that way and not be considered insane by your peers. I mean Brad Stevens absolutely loves him
You shouldn’t be friends with those people anymore if they try to knock you down a peg when you are honest or vulnerable with them.
I appreciate it but I’m looking for reality checks, not blind support. You need to hear the other side to be rational. I bet you Joe has a ton of people who keep him in check too
This dude cannot be a real person 😂😂
The blankness of his eyes,I saw Bugonia and there’s an actor who plays a dude on the spectrum and had to look him up because he played the part so well. Turns out he is on the spectrum. Also Stavros played his part a little too well.
Stavros crushed it. Guess the two Greek freaks liked each other
dude Bugonia was fucking incredible
The not even smiling at the end, after someone laughs, is unsettling.
“Illegal screen”
love the one guy in the reporter pool who couldn’t help but laugh
Did you see that look Mazulla gave him? I wouldn’t want that judgment stare either
Honestly, that judgement stare is Mount Rushmore funniest moments of my life, so I’m thrilled lol
looks to see who laughed so he can send them a severed dove’s head on their birthday
That’s u/seanyboy255, who posted this in the Celtics sub
[deleted]
This vexes me
Quick, test Jayson Tatum for Lupus and Sarcoidosis! Also, Foreman is black
Its never Lupus
I too am in this press conference
Hes so sick of everyone.. its hilarious.
Joe and I have the same MO at work.
I would be the happiest man in the world if i could just be a jerk (i like him, just to clarify) to everyone on my job.
This man is a legend and living the dream.
Meh I doubt he’s an asshole to the people who actually matter, I doubt he has the same tone with his players and staff that he uses with reporters trying to get a headline out of him
The only reason to watch an nba press conference these days
This guy is legit funny as hell, I can’t tell if he’s got a Nathan fielder thing going on and his poker face is godly or this is just 100% who he is. Either way dude is hilarious and I’m happy Ime got fired and replaced by this dude solely because his press conferences and interviews are gold
I can see why Reddit loves this dude. What a socially awkward weirdo lol.
This isn’t awkward, he’s being a dick intentionally for the comedy. Your interpretation is socially awkward lol.
how is this socially awkward?
Because there is a normal way to answer here, and this isn’t it. It’s not unusual to ask this kind of question to coach, as they would be the person to know their own player’s timelines and medical situation. If you don’t know, you say you don’t know, but why wouldn’t he know?
He just wants to be an asshole I guess, which is a bit awkward to the reporter who is just doing his job.
Im not sure you can really be an asshole and social awkward since intent is directly contradictory amongst the two.
exactly
you have to love this guy
Hilarious
Love his character. Might not be a character.
Either way, it’s absolutely hilarious.
Illegal Screen
lol
Coach Mazulla is hilarious 😂
I’m not a doctor Jim!
performative
Hey man, if it turns 3rd stringers into key role players, I’m fine with whatever performance he wants to put on.
oh for sure. he’s crushing it lol this one is just weak on the Mazzulla scale imo
I think he just hates press conferences and/or is autistic, so he trolls the questions he finds pointless
And within every joe mazzulla post, lies an autism diagnosis from an ignorant person
havent multiple people come out and said “yeah this is just who he is, its not an act”
If he actually went to medical school and dropped out, this would be a fine quote, but you’re right, just comes across performative.
It’s not. Everybody says he’s like that off camera too.
Besides, even if it were just for the camera, he’d have to be the greatest actor in history to be able to pull that off so consistently without ever breaking character.
Me too dawg
I really want his sweater but I can’t find it anywhere, I’m guessing team exclusive
Thats not gonna stop him from performing an emergency tracheotomy
So Celtics people. I know I’ve heard the stories of people saying he’s really like this even not in press conferences.
But is he like Belichick and that if someone in a press conference actually asks him a real non asinine question and he’ll open up?
Or is it just deadpan always?
Not hating. Loved Belichick doing it, love Mazzulla doing it. Hate both Patriots and Celtics. Respect both.
Yeah, he open up for good questions fairly regularly. I think it’s pretty clear he doesn’t just like, totally and openly disdain the media.
Like, he wouldn’t have done the “coaches vs media” pickup game otherwise (even if some of the reporters interpreted it as a punishment lol).
Mazzulla does treat questions with respect if they’re good, but occasionally Belichick would go on for 8-10 minutes about, like, the history of the long snapper as a dedicated roster spot if a reporter asked. That’s a whole other level that I don’t think Joe reaches.
Well at least he rebounded really well and is now at the top of his profession.
Translations: “Stupid question: piss off”
is he ok?
The single chuckle at the end to add to the awkwardness
Impossible not to love this dude.
What the fuck is wrong with this weirdo.
Just answer a question normally lol. Stop trying so hard to be weird.
Agree. The question being asked by the context is “As head coach who interacts with the training staff and is a stakeholder in the decisions for Tatums report when is the approximate timeline for the return of Tatum to the court?”
“Yeah so, uh, follow up question: what are the people who didn’t fail medical school saying?”
Could you imagine having a psycho like Mazzulla as your doctor? Would diagnose everything as “you’re weak, that’s what the problem is”
I love him.
I hate the Celtics, but damn I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t love Mazzulla. Dude’s hilarious and just a great coach
I kinda hate this guy. Just be normal bro.
Guy has serial killer vibes
I am really impressed Mazzulla was in med school.
I didn’t fail medical school because I was never accepted.
He so clever right guys?
When its his time, bury this dude at the Granary
God I love Joe. Wish he was any other teams coach.
GET UP
This guy gives me the icks.
Never change Joe
This man hasn’t smiled in years
He’s got those Tom Hardy crazy eyes
I’ve never seen this guy smile or laugh…
Bro is the Mike Tomlin of the NBA. Classic Mazullan response
Another Joe zinger! 😂
Diabolical that he lets the reporter ask his long winded question before hitting him with that
Hate the Celtics, love Joe Mazzulla
He’s thinks this is cool? Wait until they call him in the office?
Illegal screen
God damn it Joe needs to stop giving me reasons to like the Celtics
Joe mazzulla is the perfect embodiment of weaponized autism (this is a compliment)
New “You know I’m not a real Doctor, right?” just dropped
illegal screen
Mazzula only causes injuries. Healing them is someone else’s problem.
Joe Mazulla makes a joke
r/nba “OMG this guy is UNHINGED XD”
Have y’all really just never met someone with a dry sense of humour?
His blank ass look afterwards lmao. He is the single most unsettling person in the league.
I love the guy, but I must say that sometimes his eyes and body movement look like someone who lives in the quiet part of town where random people sometimes disappear.
“Illegal screen.”
Joe Mazzula is my favorite NBA interview ever.
And we are all thankful for that. The last thing we need as a society is Mr Mazulla having surgical doctor knowledge of the human body.
I would watch Mazzzulla do standup
he did didn’t he
Every dude with this beard and haircut combo acts the exact same. It’s really not that funny it’s just cringe after a certain point but yall eat it up everytime